I felt it when I woke up. Before the alarm went off, before the kitties were crying at the door, before the little girl above us was running her laps and doing her clogging routine in her parents bedroom, I felt it. The ominous gloom and doom feeling. As I lay there going through my checklist of ARE YOU OK? Is something wrong with you physically? ARE YOU SOBER? Did you just have a bad dream? Is Chris OK next to you, are you harmed in some way? The immediate answers are all clear, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG.
Here's the thing with having a great attitude about life. Sometimes nothing is wrong and you feel like shit. Not physically. Just that general lousy feeling. And there is no explanation for it. There doesn't need to be. It just is. SO WHAT? We have all been there, and I for one, know it will pass. Usually quickly. I just need to reset the clock internally and START OVER.
It's only my weirdo cruddy cunning attitude that needs an adjustment. It's part of being mentally healthy with no drugs or alcohol involved. No crutches. It means I AM RESPONSIBLE. I've had too many shitty days to not learn from them. I've learned I do have some control over how I feel.
And today, at 9:35am on a Tuesday in Chicago, I am STARTING THIS MOTHERLOVING DAY OVER.
You know me, I will make lemonade outta sour lemons, but I also happen to love the sour lemons as they are all ingredients in the end result of sweet happiness. Would you care for some?
And just like that, it's passed.