I felt it when I woke up. Before the alarm went off, before the kitties were crying at the door, before the little girl above us was running her laps and doing her clogging routine in her parents bedroom, I felt it. The ominous gloom and doom feeling. As I lay there going through my checklist of ARE YOU OK? Is something wrong with you physically? ARE YOU SOBER? Did you just have a bad dream? Is Chris OK next to you, are you harmed in some way? The immediate answers are all clear, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG.
Here's the thing with having a great attitude about life. Sometimes nothing is wrong and you feel like shit. Not physically. Just that general lousy feeling. And there is no explanation for it. There doesn't need to be. It just is. SO WHAT? We have all been there, and I for one, know it will pass. Usually quickly. I just need to reset the clock internally and START OVER.
It's only my weirdo cruddy cunning attitude that needs an adjustment. It's part of being mentally healthy with no drugs or alcohol involved. No crutches. It means I AM RESPONSIBLE. I've had too many shitty days to not learn from them. I've learned I do have some control over how I feel.
And today, at 9:35am on a Tuesday in Chicago, I am STARTING THIS MOTHERLOVING DAY OVER.
You know me, I will make lemonade outta sour lemons, but I also happen to love the sour lemons as they are all ingredients in the end result of sweet happiness. Would you care for some?
And just like that, it's passed.
You my dear make me have a different aspect on my life daily. Thank you!!!!!ReplyDelete
It's getting a little ridiculous how easily you can make me cry. Contented tears. I had to go to Al-Anon to learn that it's ok not to be ok. I just have to keep doing the next right thing until I can shake it off. That's one of my miracles in sobriety. I can choose whether I stay in my rut or if I want to try to get out.ReplyDelete
Gratitude baby. It's all about the gratitude. YOU have taught me so much about that. Gratitude and dignity. You are an amazing beacon of light - it's ok not to shine as brightly for awhile. We'll make up the difference for you.
If you have a minute, check out my blog from yesterday. The answer to the question "What do you do when you're upset?" has a lot to do with gratitude.
I would love a big ol glass of sour lemonade! Coming from you, I'm sure it's plenty sweet :) xxoo I hope your day ends out fabulous. Smoochies.ReplyDelete
i'll drink the lemonade, and the cool-aid, if you're mixingReplyDelete
pass a lemon my way, goes great with my water ♥ReplyDelete
Every day I look forward to reading your posts.. you are one of THE most positive people I know of. You are truly inspirational, thank you, thank you, thank you!ReplyDelete
I need to get better at allowing myself to start over when i wake up like that. It happens more than i care to admit. You always have great reminders, my friend...and just at the right time, too. I adore you. Tons. xoxoReplyDelete
*sigh* Every Tuesday you help me gain perspective. Every stinking Tuesday. And for that, I thank you. xoxoReplyDelete
Thank you so much for your insightful words on a rough Tuesday here. I think I'll start over too. Wonderful post!ReplyDelete
You simply amaze me !!!! I am now at 2:40 on Tuesday in North Carolina, going to go outside,take a deep breath and start over. Yes I know its later in the day, but after actually starting out ok, my attitude went downhill fast. I will then go make a phone call and tell someone I am sorry for being a complete and utter ass toward them. Yes I had a reason to be upset with them, but I had no right to be an ass about it. Thanks for the different perspective, insight, and literal kick in the pants I needed to make it right.ReplyDelete
Very lovely post. It really is okay not to be okay. We all have our moments when we are out of sorts emotionally and we wonder if the people in our lives can sense our discontent. Yet, we are probably hidden until we find a way to poke a hole in the invisible bubble gum that makes us contained and calm. Good post. Love it. Right to the point and at the heart of it.ReplyDelete
I just love you. I do. Thank you again and again for sharing you with us.ReplyDelete
I feel that shit Katy. Thank you sharing. :)ReplyDelete
I may need to come back and read this everyday! Love you!ReplyDelete
Rattling down a quick list of only the truly important things is really brilliant!! Thanks... I will steal that!! Glad you do-over was successful!! :)ReplyDelete
I love you! That is all.ReplyDelete
Damn, I was just going to blame that shit on hormones. Now you got me thinking of what I preach to my kiddies: You can start changing anything at any second, at any minute, at any hour of any day, but you are the one that has to start. Thanks for reminding me to be mindful of that for myself. Ephiphany...ReplyDelete
Kablamo. Thank you for reminding me of what I have preached to my kiddies: You can start over at any second, at any minute, at any hour of any day, but you are the one who has to start. Never thought to apply it to me, duh. Flippin' ephiphanies, you start 'em Katy...ReplyDelete
Love this! Thank you for being you and all the you things you say and share. Cause if there is one thing I love and hold dear it is that I am not alone and I am not special and I love that there are others who feel the same way I do! So thank you!!!ReplyDelete
Good for you. There are some days I CANNOT manage to muster the energy for this type of attitude. Takes SO MUCH ENERGY! Being nice can be hard work ;)ReplyDelete
You just blog slapped me. Thank you. So dang much.ReplyDelete
Thanks its not just me.ReplyDelete
Yes! "The Do Over" is a wonderful thing.ReplyDelete
Crazy how somethings work...I really needed to see your post today. I woke up on the bad side off the bed but I won't be going to bed on the bad. Thank you for this post.ReplyDelete
I need to put more post-it notes like the third picture on the walls in my house. To constantly keep reminding myself. Constant.ReplyDelete
This is great!ReplyDelete