Thursday, January 24, 2013

Things I Love Thursday - Part 64

There really is so much I love this Thursday and every Thursday that it's hard to narrow it down to one thing.  But 64 times now, I have.  And I feel like I can keep this going forever.  Let's hope so!

Today it's kind of random thoughts on this here blog and funny shit about babies.  Cuz, you know, that is where I am right now in my life, and this blog is all about what's in my head and heart right at this moment.
  
I understand that reading my posts and my blog may be difficult for those who are struggling with trying to have or adopt a child.  I am constantly aware of how this feels because I was there too.  I want you to know that I never take any of this for granted and I know every second how very lucky we are. I do my own version of praying and sending love and light and hope and gratitude out to the universe for me and for you many many times a day.  I hope with all my heart you find happiness and gratitude for where you are in life and for what you have.  I get the most notes from people about sobriety and the struggle to get it and keep it, or for trying to create or add to your family.  For those notes, I am so grateful, and I believe in you.  

SOBRIETY and my journey to create a family are the two things I blog and talk about the most.  It's what this blog is about and I am so grateful you take the time to share and read it.

This is the status I posted yesterday on the Facebook Page -
"Good morning lovely capable dependable and full of hope Divers! Did we all make it through yesterday? We did! Today is another day to do better and be better. And to learn way more about being a good mama. Sobriety and motherhood are what I was meant to practice. And they go hand in hand. This is the best gig ever. Have a great day, everybody! *blowing you kisses*"
This is so true and if you regularly read my blog you know I am so grateful to be sober and ONLY BECAUSE I AM SOBER do I get to be a mama and do I get to be gifted with these babies. And the fact that all of you share in this journey with me just makes it so much more fun and also makes me feel like I'm a part of something bigger and more profound than just sitting in our apartment every day with these two little ones and KEEPING THEM ALIVE.  Oh my gods, HOW AM I KEEPING THEM ALIVE?  

But more than that is the idea that every day, I WILL FAIL.  I will fail at life, as I always have, as you always have, but the difference is today we can learn from it and hopefully not keep doing the same stupid shit over and over and over and expecting different results.  This is becoming especially clear right now as I messily and sometimes desperately flail around trying to be a good mama to these two little squishy beings that are entirely in my dear sweet dumpster husband's and my care.  HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO FEED TWO BABIES THAT ARE 17 DAYS OLD AT THE SAME TIME?  Holy shite, will that humble your cocky arse but quick. 

And man, DO I EVER FLAIL (think Kermit arms flailing about and that's kinda how I look several times a day right now). 




Here are my immediate gripes:
  1. These babies STILL cannot make a decent cup of coffee.
  2. They are so damn cute.  I mean really, tone it down a bit.
  3. They don't know how to give me a proper manicure, and gods forbid, if I paint my nails myself, they inevitably cry and I mess up my nails trying to calm them down.
  4. They smell really really delicious.
  5. THEY ARE HUNGRY ALL THE DAMN TIME.
  6. I AM HUNGRY ALL THE DAMN TIME. 
  7. They exhibit shoddy workmanship when I force them to put together all the furniture we keep getting from IKEA.  Lazy, really.
  8. Bewbies.
  9. They are only 6 to 7 pounds and sometimes they absolutely terrify us way more than a huge hulking menacing terrifying awful bad bad man.
  10. They can't seem to focus on things I want them to really focus on.  Like noticing and commenting on how cute I look today.  I mean, I wore this dress for you, babies.
  11. OH MY GODS MY BEWBIES ARE SO FULL OF WHITE STUFF.
  12. These babies are pretty poopy.  You understand.  POOPY ALL THE TIME!
  13. I get to practice baby juggling with two babies and feeding both at once.  This terrifies and excites me all at once.  It's like the ultimate test of determination and hope at the same time. 
  14. DID I MENTION MY BEWBIES?
  15. They really are a great way to lose weight.  I've lost almost 40 pounds now of the 55 I gained while pregnant.  Now if I can just get this c-section business to heal I can get back to spinning!  WOOT WOOT!  Stupid c-section.  
I'll close with this.  The Thing I really Love this Thursday is this - I love that we can joke about babies and bewbies and also sobriety - the serious yet very funny with perspective - stuff in life.  It's really the only way we can get through all this stuff every day without crawling in the corner and going fetal like a - you guessed it - LIKE A BABY.  Laughter is good.  Not taking things so seriously is good.  When I drank it was serious.  I drank to escape the seriousness of life and my desperate unhappiness and hopelessness.  There is no need for that today.  Today we celebrate the funny and the awesome.  For that, I am so grateful.  That, and, babies are pretty squishy and I love that too.  Flailing and squishy go quite well together.  

Gratuitous Hall & Oates and Sally Boy shot.


  

40 comments:

  1. Oh I just wanna hug the heck out of them!

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  2. One of the better things in January was finding your blog. You are so full of life and love. Hugs and kisses from a California grandma to you, Mr. Dumpster, Sally Boy and wonderful Hall and Oates.

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  3. Hooray for babies and bewbies. And never having to worry about pump and dump. And being inspirational in every way. Love.

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  4. Amazing. As always.
    You are an inspiration.

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  5. Aaawwwww...Adorable pic..!!!! 2x's the Cuteness..!!!! Way to go Mama. : )

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  6. Again, I appreciate you sharing. I always find a sense of hope in reading your blog and facebook postings. I love that you're so grateful for everything (good and bad) in life and have a way of moving on. Thank you again for sharing those beautiful little blessings.

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  7. Gah! I just LOVE you to bits and pieces! You are a perfect example of one day at a time. <3

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  8. they're getting so big! are they driving yet?

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  9. You've sooo got this Mama!!! I am beyond thrilled for you and DH!!! Thank YOu for sharing all you do with us! Love from another mommie of twins! <3 Such beautiful babies!!!

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  10. You are awesome. Your blog is awesome. H & O are awesome. Your DH is awesome. Everything is just awesome! Thanks for sharing your journey with us :)

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  11. Congrats on the weight loss :) it has taken me quite a while to shed the nearly-75-lbs i gained during my most recent pregnancy, and trust me it's a lot harder to shed when ya don't have a sweet baby to take care of and lug around all day. but you are rockin this mama gig, and that's pretty rad.
    you inspire me :) and so many others. keep it up, Dumpster Lady & Husband!!!

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  12. I love watching them as they grow! I can't believe they actually do look bigger. So sweet, so beautiful, so blessed! I knew you'd rock this mommy thing.

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  13. You need to get their coffee making skills on lockdown like NOW!!

    They are too cute for words!! Just beautiful!!

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  14. Oh so cute!! I have just recently started following your blog & posts on facebook. I can't help but smile and share your comments with my co-workers. You are such a strong person. Keep doing and being yourself. Enjoy everyday. Oh, and have wonderful fun with the awesomely cute Hall & Oates!

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  15. You are just too cute...love your sense of humor and honesty! And the babies are just beautiful! Thanks for brightening our day!

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  16. I came around because of the sobriety thing. Its what keeps me coming back but also this, this living the day in the present time thing, the gotta be grateful for baby shit thing, the so damn happy my heart will explode thing. I can't journey alone and while my contribution is merely "oh my god me too" most the time I can't thank you enough for letting me share in your journey. Clink!! and lawd a mighty those babes are adorable! :)

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  17. Hooray for Thursday! Just LOVE your Blogs! Oh and I'm LOVIN the pic of the babes with the "gaurd Kitty"! So happy to hear you still have your most awesome sense of humour! You brighten my day sweetie! Love and Hugs and Kisses to you all!
    Have An Absolutely Fantastic Thursday!

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  18. Yay for the babies, the bewbies, sobriety, all of it! :) Thank you for including the gratuitous H&O shot with SallyBoy looking on in the background. I'm so happy for the little Dumpster Family! <3 And I swear your numbered list made me bust out laughing more than once so thank you!!

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  19. What do you mean they can't make coffee yet?! Unsat.

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  20. Omg I love this. You are doing a great job keeping those babies alive! And can't they be demanding little things? The least they could do us give you a decent manicure.

    That pic of the babes and Sally boy is priceless!!!

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  21. AHhh! I want to squeeze you all! I'm bursting with happiness for YOUR happiness and gratitude. You really put things into perspective for me every day and remind me to be more grateful than I already am! SO much love to you and your beautiful, lovely, squishy, flailing family! xoxo

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  22. Whoa, mama! You are amazing!! I love the fact that there are these teeny-tiny squishy people that keep smiling! Either they are that gassy or they were born with gratitude ingrained in their tiny beings. Beautiful & amazing...just like their mama.

    Keep doing what you do...as always. I love you, what you bring, all you are, and all you have become. I am so proud of you, my dear!

    *MUWAHS* & *HUGS* & Stuffs...

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  23. Well OF COURSE Sally boy has installed himslef as head of H&O security detail. I would expect nothing less from that sweet boy. SO MUCH LOVE to all of you.

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  24. I just found your blog recently and I have enjoyed reading your blog and Facebook posts. You have a great attitude towards life and appreciating it now that you are sober. I am beyond thrilled for you being sober and becoming a mommy!!! Your babies are so lucky to have you as their mommy!!! If you can laugh at yourself and situations you find yourself in your whole family will be happy. Live, Love, Laugh!!

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  25. I just found your blog recently and I have enjoyed reading your blog and Facebook posts. You have a great attitude towards life and appreciating it now that you are sober. I am beyond thrilled for you being sober and becoming a mommy!!! Your babies are so lucky to have you as their mommy!!! If you can laugh at yourself and situations you find yourself in your whole family will be happy. Live, Love, Laugh!!

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  26. just found your blog, think you rock, have 4yr old & 8mo old girls, and oh YES! to the boobs!! :)

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  27. Um.. yes Hello!
    long time reader first time commenter here.
    First of all your babies are adorable, as a mother who hasn't had a really tiny one in years I miss the smell of a fresh baby and the loving feeling of holding them closely while they sleep. I am sober, had a 7yr run with Prescription Pain Killers (any variety really) I have been happily on the wagon for 2yrs now and I love absolute every thing about sobriety. Though Sobriety does mean something different to me, after the first year and half of not using, getting my life back on track and just over all kicking ass and taking names. I started to have pain in my lower back, I also started to have anxiety flare ups I was told I needed to be put back on pain killers and xanax. To which I kindly told the doc he could take all his pills and shove them where the "I got my doctorate so I could keep people down and keep making money off of you assholes" dont shine. instead I decided to start smoking weed and see how that would affect me (feeling guilty of course) after a few days of night time puffs because I didn't want it to affect me during the day while my kids were awake, I realized smoking was helping me in many ways including finally sleeping after a long time of not being able to fall asleep. I don't attend AA because they don't see me as sober considering I smoke weed (my sobriety means I am not spending every second of every day looking for a fix I am not harping on AA because I know they have helped millions of people get recovery but I do wish sometimes for somewhere that would accept that it doesn't matter in which format you find clarity as long as you find it), but what they don't see is how much it has helped me and it doesn't affect my life at all besides the helping part anyways. I work like everyone else maybe a little more than some, I take care of my rugrats they love me and look up to me, I am a loving girlfriend to a ex-army "seen alot of hard times" who's smokes to help cope with the transition into civilian life. I also care for our Dooogie Job. I am telling you all of this because I recently was derailed from the wonderful life I have worked my little hiney off for, on a trip to Michigan in nov. I managed to get a umbilical hernia causing me to have to be terminated from my position, it has also caused severe nausea especially if I have to get into a vehicle I feel like I'm on a boat driven by Vern Troyer. so I haven't even been able to pick up my kids when it's my week because there father lives 45 minutes away and I would definitely spend the whole trip throwin up out the window. I have surgery scheduled for monday so all of this will soon be in my past, but one thing that I did get from this experience is my blog and reading other peoples blogs I had no idea there was a community of sorts out there for this I plan on sticking around for awhile, I have ALOT to say. I respect the opinion of women like you very highly and would be honored if you would take a look at my blog and give me some feedback. http://averybloggetyblog.blogspot.com/ anything is appreciated

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  28. Really nothing NOT to love! (Except their damn delicious scent! lol). Amazing how the bodies are able to sort of spring back, eh?! Good for you and good luck healing up completely!

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  29. And I was just blogging a bitch session about sperm tests and understanding why mommy bloggers drink! Your blog was mentioned in the comments since I was bitching about crack whores and someone brought up dumpster babies. So I came over to read your latest and you mention sobriety. Good timing.

    Thanks for this post. After one hell of a morning, I was about to toast with all the other wino mommy bloggers - but you made me drink a bottle of bubbly water that is, instead.

    Congrats on your little ones!!

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  30. I MISS NOT BEING ABLE TO WRITE ON YOUR WALL!! Yes, I know it needs to be off now, but sometimes I am just overly caffeinated and wide awake at 1:39 AM and I feel like telling you that I'm so happy that our house is sober and happy and that YOUR house is sober and happy and also that I had crisp and juicy Polish dill pickles with my dinner tonight and they were delish. And other random things like that :) Your babies are amazeballs and so are you!! Gratitude every day mama!!! Love, Liz and Freggy Boy

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  31. OMGEEBUS look at them babehs! See what reason do we have to be ungrateful when we have such beautiful babehs? I mean mine is just a couple of months ahead of Hall&Oates but I totally get it. She never appreciates the outfits I wear or the freaking adorable ones I put her in too. Cuz lord knows this babeh doesn't have a fashion sense. I mean do we really have to teach them EVERYTHING?!?!?! Haha they are gorgeous and you look AH-MAZING for just having twins. Do we keep skipping down the road of happy destiny? I think we do. With teeny tiny coffee cups of course.

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  32. I jumped over here from Insane in the Mom-brain. Love your random thoughts Thursday. I love your baby pictures! I have boy girl twins. They are l1. Everyone tells you that you will forget the 1st year of their life because you are so tired. NOT TRUE! You are deadly tired, and you are nothing but a feed bag a lot of the time, and yes, I agree, fantastic way to lose weight. The C-Section thing clears up and you can have a fabulous flat stomach again, but not for a while. That's O.K. because you are so tired the first year, you don't care.
    Anywho....you will remember every amazing thing that happens this year, two babies at once is mind blowing, in one of the best mind blowing ways possible. Trust me, I had plenty of boo hoo days and moments. Did I mention tired? But they will grow fast, and then they turn into toddlers that you think are the reincarnation of the cartoon characters thing one and thing two because they work in a pack to destroy your house and sanity. But then they give you a huge hug, together! They crawl into your lap, at the same time, and you (temporarily) forget how hard the day was. Then you turn around and they are wearing skinny jeans, wanting an iphone and a boy is texting your girl and telling her he loves her. Wha? They are amazing these twins. They have their own club. Built in protection for each other against meanies at school and boys that text their sisters too much. Good luck to you in the days ahead. And sleep whenever you can. Looking forward to reading more of your adventure! -K

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  33. I found you through Patti (Insane Mom Brain), & have begun reading some of your blog. We, too, had a struggle having children, but then it finally happened! We had a beautiful baby girl 2 1/2 years ago. Breastfeeding was great birth control, but a month after her 1st birthday I was gratefully done. Don't get me wrong, I loved nursing my girl, but I was just ready to have my body back (or what was left of it). About 2 months later, I was pregnant again! I am now nursing an 8 month old, & my husband & I still look at each other in bewilderment. "Can you believe they let us leave the hospital with these babies?" is said quite often! I can't claim any knowledge at all of twins. In fact, I am amazed at the women who deal with multiples. One of our previous neighbors moved a few years ago, & we got a call a few months later from the husband who said, "We just moved & we already need a larger house! She's having triplets!" During visits with them, I am in awe of her. She is so organized. She once told me that watching them grow is bittersweet for her because they don't plan to have any more children, so their firsts are also her lasts. Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling! I know nothing of alcoholism, but I did manage to quit smoking back in 2007, as did my husband. We read a book called 'The Easy Way to Stop Smoking' by Alan Carr. I mention it in case anyone else reads these comments & is looking for a drug-free option to help quit. Sorry to use this to plug some dead dude's book! Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your fantastic journey. It's nice to read about someone having the same crazy thoughts as me after being stuck in a house all day with my kids!

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  34. I just found your blog, I have to say it is pretty darn hilarious! I have a 6 yr old little girl and identical twin 20 month old boys. I understand about the bewbies. I nursed my daughter till she was 8 months and I was pretty darn proud of that. But those bewbies were nothing compared to what I had with the boys. I nursed them till 12 months, can you say J? I had the hardest time finding nursing bras that big. It was CRAZY! My hubby loved it though. Keep up the great work, you can do it. I'll warn you now at least in my experience it has gotten harder as they get older and mobile. :). Just be prepared in case you have a similar experience. With a singleton first, we got to compare, and it got easier as she got older, with the boys not so much. It became do you go after the one sticking his finger in the light socket, or falling down the stairs?

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  35. It's beautul... inspiring, i love it, kisses!

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  36. Love this post. You've captured a lot of things I've felt...especially love "how am I keeping them alive?" Because it gets right to the heart of how serious this mothering business is. I started a new blog www.weddedblissandbeyond.com and found this to be so inspiring. Thank you!

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