Tuesday, October 18, 2011

For the Love of French Braids and Non-Bumpit Big Bang Theory

Now, let's all be clear.  I have no real life experience with this whole lifestyle, but I am OBSESSED with Sister Wives.  Much like I am OBSESSED with Cuttlefish.  Now I like to think that somewhere a sister wife is saying, "man I'm obsessed with train wreck alcoholic vegan women who don't have any babies yet"  and blogging about someone like me. 
I will watch, read, listen to, stare, follow, stalk sister wives.  Any documentary, any podcast, any book, article, tv show, movie.  You name it, I will do that shit.

I find it just sickly fascinating.  Which, I know, makes me seem a terrible person.  But it's really that I'm in awe of their "all in" attitude.


Big Love. The best scenes were always the ones with the 3 wives. And that Nikki? IDOL.

and this:

I don't watch reality TV as a rule, but screw you if you think I won't watch this shit.
Sister Wives on TLC? that shit is cray.
but more so this:

is what I'm fascinated with. I understand that the modesty factor is big in the Mormon faith.  I get it.  But where does this big 80's french braid hair come in?  If anyone can fill me in, please do.

I'm fairly certain it's a terrible way for a young girl to grow up and I am not making any judgements on the lifestyle or those who choose to live it.  If anything, I want to thank you for believing so hard in french braids and making that big bang theory happen without the aid of bumpits.

The hair, the dresses, the awful shoes underneath those dresses?  the 84 kids that are all related to each other kind of, who grow up and marry each other and keep the reproduction going?  That is some hardcore stuff. 

I read this:

It did a great job of showing the experience from the HUSBAND's point of view.  I quite enjoyed it.
I am very very good friends with a girl who happens to be Mormon.  Now, she and I couldn't be more different in many ways and I tease her relentlessly because I am a bitch. I tease about her magic underpants and she lets me.  She gives it back to me in other ways but my point is, she is one of my favorite people even though we are so very different.  She is one of the kindest and gentlest and most loving and non-judgemental people I've ever known. 

Let me be clear, IN NO WAY DO I THINK ALL MORMONS ARE SISTER WIVES.  So don't come after me y'all.

Because I don't know any Sister Wives in person (or do I?) I like to be really stereotypical about them. You Sister Wives out there (because I'm sure you are reading this blog), keep up the braiding and the shooting and the driving around in SUVs and the preparing for the end of days or whatever it is you do.  

I will be here with my popcorn watching/reading/following every second.  I thank you.


  1. Those are serious braids. I don't think my hands can do the magic those braids require.

  2. Holy braids! And I thought that I was cool when I learned how to just do a normal French braid back in high school. I so have braid envy now.


  3. "I don't watch reality TV as a rule." Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  4. Being friends with Katy is one of the greatest gifts that G*d has given me. She is the most wonderful person ever. My majic panties told me so.

    I too am obsessed with sister wives. Not to the extent that Kitkat is, but being Mormon I at least get to play the role from time to time. I have a friend who is also Mormon and we joke that we are sister wives and share her husband.

    I promise that I will be a better Mormon friend and learn to french braid like a champion...I better get started now. Next time I come to visit you had better be prepared for a french braid party!

  5. Love my Chunk. And, braiding party!!!

  6. You may have to invite us all to your braid party. I'll bring the hummus. Have you seen the LMN movie, In God's Country? If not, then you need to, because it is some wonderful shit. You'll thank me, you will.

  7. I have seen it! Is there anything better than LVM movies? Terrible shit. That rules.

  8. Just stumbled across your blog.
    I run a blog about my support for polygamy. I know the Brown family and the people behind Big Love, I have studied this lifestyle for a long time. I am an unmarried sisterwife:P
    If you want to read about why I think it can work, check out my page sometime! I will be following your blog henceforth! I am so relieved to read something not bashing polygamists. Teasing, a little bit, but.. :) thats all good.
    --Lady Plurality

  9. omg, those braids are rockin'! I loved Big Love back when I watched it. (I don't have cable these days.)

    I loved it because it is a good show, but I was also in a polyamorous relationship. What started as having a husband AND a wife very much became more like sister wives.

    I don't much blog about that and I did leave that household a few years ago, but... I couldn't NOT comment to tell you that, considering your obsession. I could always use another stalker. ;-)

  10. LMAO - you kill me ... love the writing and I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog. Seriously. I'm dead now. ps: Nikki was hilarious in Big Love.

  11. LOL I told my hubs just the other day Ima get a sister wife. Too much shit for me to do by myself!

    And I wouldn't have time for those braids, either.

  12. Thanks everybody! And ladies who commented about plural marriages a special thanks to you. So good to hear from you and Lady P I will check out your site for sure. I'm quite happy with Dumpster Husband, but love reading all about it. Xo

  13. It never occurred to me until now that my mom's braiding skill might in fact have been a Mormon Skill (tm). Unfortunately, like cooking, it is one she did *not* pass on to this tomboy daughter.


    I don't watch the show (or partake of other related endeavors), but it's fun reading about it here. :p

  14. ok, now I know we share a brain or something. I love reading and watching stuff about sister wives.

    Now, I sort of have a tiny bit of experience with the lifestyle. Well, not really but yeah...sort of. The hubs and I are polyamorous, which is much more confusing than Mormon polygamy where there's just one dude and his wimmin folk and we don't have some sort of religious thing surrounding it but yeah...anywhooo....

  15. Just wandered over here from your Facebook page. I'm thinking that the Croc's clog would be the perfect foot ware for polygamist wives ;)

  16. and i thought it was just me. lol. when we passed through utah on a road trip, i was amazed at the minivans of children in mc d's. the only way they could manage taking 6 kids to mc d's was because there were 2 moms. i have 2 kids (and only 1 husband, no sister wives) and feel overwhelmed most of the time! maybe they've got it all figured out?