Thursday, March 29, 2012

Things I Love Thursday - Part 32

I just got to walk back from my doctor to the office on a beautiful day in Chicago.  And DAMN let me just say I LOVE MY CITY. 


This Marilyn statue is next to the Wrigley Building.  It's huge.  And I still don't know how I feel about her. 
 It is a treat to be able to live, work and play in this gorgeous city.  My doctor is in my old neighborhood, right off Michigan Avenue, or the Magnificent Mile, as people like to call it.  I lived in an area called Streeterville.  I lived in a high rise, more like a hotel really.  After running away from a relationship and living situation I stayed in way too long in 2005, I finally got out on my own at 32 years old and lived on my own for a few years.  It was odd in that it was a tiny studio apartment that I paid way too much in rent for, but I had to get out on my own and I had to do it in a place that was available NOW. 

While I was walking back from the doctor today, I saw an old (she says with all respect) woman who lived in my building walking down the street.  She always had a huge smile and was cute as a button, and I was so happy to see her, I gave her a huge smile and may have scared her a bit.  It was just nice to know she's still out and about and enjoying herself. 

What this TILT is really about though are the feelings I had while walking through that area.  From smiling to crying in one block, I realized how grateful I am for my home and my family today.  I talked a bit about being homeless for a while in this Fancy Pants Big Shot post I did last week, but I don't really talk about that much as I feel like it was another lifetime for me.  However, when I walk around and encounter homeless folks who clearly have many issues going on, I feel among them.  They are my people.  I wonder if that will ever change?  I hope it doesn't, as it keeps me firmly planted in my reality.

My reality is if I drink, if I don't carefully watch my sobriety and do the things I need to do to maintain a spiritual program of health, I will lose everything and wind up homeless again.  I am of these people. 

I then got to thinking about my husband and our home.  Our little apartment that is so full of love and fun and safety that I got teary eyed.  As I go through this journey of trying to have a baby with my true love and life partner I am so filled with gratitude that I am exactly where I should be and with exactly the right and only person for me.  I never had that feeling my entire life.  I didn't have it with the man I married once upon a time a long time ago, and I never had it in any other relationship. 

Having a roof over my head is a gift I never take for granted, not for one second.  Having a home with a man who loves me so much and helps me feel that love and partnership every day, is a gift I still can't quite believe is happening to me sometimes.  I know I'm worthy, it's not that I feel unworthy.  I just can't quite believe that I have all of this love and security in my life.  We can lose everything, and we might, any day - we just don't know.  But for right now, in this moment, I am cherishing what I have and who I have and feeling such gratitude my heart is bursting.

And yes, I am a bit emotional lately.  Smiles.  I love every second of this life and I am so grateful I am alive to see what happens next. 


And there is my bus!  But I'm going to walk a bit.


13 comments:

  1. This is so awesome!

    The part about never taking the roof over your head for granted - yep, got that. While we weren't homeless, we were literally within days of it (me and all 5 kids) when things finally fell into place for us. Every month when I write out my check for my rent, I am so incredibly grateful for my little ghetto house, because we are safe and we are together.

    Fabulous post!

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  2. Awesomeness..so much vivid in one post. I feel like I love your hubby too - just from the joy seeping from your words. How lucky am I to walk with you on your journey? Because it sure feels like I'm in it with you. Weird? No..it just is. xo

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  3. I loved reading this. I am so, so grateful for you, and thankful to you for pointing out (one evening some months ago) the reason for being OK experiencing things that are sad. Sad, happy--it's all stuff that should be felt, that means we're alive to feel it! Much love.

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  4. You are so wise to recognize and be grateful for what you have. And to know just exactly what you need to do to keep it. Can't wait to see a little bird hatching in that love nest ;)

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  5. I love this! All good vibes! I am so thankful for you Miss Katy, I don't live in a big house, and I don't own any nice things, but I am thankful for what I do have and most importantly the things in my life that can't be replaced.

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  6. Love love love this post, Katy. So much love and gratitude, it's infectious. I love that you are so happy and so overflowing with blessings. You are indeed worthy. We all are. Abundance and joy are our birthrights.
    Chicago is a hell of a town to live in and enjoy your amazing life in. I am feeling more and more like it should be my town, too. Who knows what the future holds? As long as it's full of love then I will always be grateful.
    So much love to you, Katy. I am so very glad we got to meet. xoxo

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  7. I hope you shook your fist at the bus- that's always fun to do, because you know half the time they love breezing right past you. I can't wait til there's a wee little Dumpster baby for you to dress in leopard print and show us pics of.

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  8. Thank you for sharing this today. I'm grateful for the reminder to stop and think about what I was, what seems like a life-time ago. I'm lucky to have had a family that loved me enough to help stop me in my tracks. That life seems to exist in another realm. I like what you did here.

    I'm a recent follower of yours on Facebook and a brand spankin' new follower here. :)

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  9. beautiful post and beautiful photos! i love hearing how happy you are in your life at this moment and how thankful you are. most of us take so much / everything for granted. some of the good things come to us by way of luck and some by way of hard work. you continue to make your life beautiful every day and are an inspiration!

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  10. I'm new to your blog so a lot of this was new to me. I just wanted to say thanks for sharing and congrats on your sobriety. I'm glad things are getting better. I'm really glad that your appreciative for what you have. So many people these days aren't.

    Also wanted to say, I was in Chicago last fall and saw the Monroe statue. I'm like you, I don't know what to think. It's freaking huge too.

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  11. I love that you love your city. Thank you for sharing the news about your struggle with addiction and your will to stay healthy. I don't drink, but I've had some rotten days where I've wished I did.

    Just so you know, Astrea sent me here. I had a post up today on my blog asking people to tell little lies about their favorite bloggers. It' didn't get a lot of traffic (probably because it was the weekend.

    But you were her pick. If you want to check it out, go see. And maybe leave a link to someone you love! ;-)

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  12. I love that you love your city. Thank you for sharing the news about your struggle with addiction and your will to stay healthy. I don't drink, but I've had some rotten days where I've wished I did.

    Just so you know, Astrea sent me here. I had a post up today on my blog asking people to tell little lies about their favorite bloggers. It' didn't get a lot of traffic (probably because it was the weekend.

    But you were her pick. If you want to check it out, go see. And maybe leave a link to someone you love! ;-)

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  13. A little off topic...First time here and just snooping around a bit. My first impression tells me we are very similar, although I have little interest in eating anything that wasn't bleeding at some point in its preparation. I once tried a vegan restaurant and it sent me running to the nearest butcher like my asshair was literally on fire. Read your bio about trying to have kids. WHen you have finally achieved your goal, you and I can sit and you can watch me drink hard alcohol and we can trade stories. We had a bit of a journey down that road, but all it did was make the destination mcuh sweeter. Hang in there. OK, i'll be around. Come check out arrogant-sob.com if you have a second...
    ArrogantSOB

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