Thursday, July 19, 2012

GUEST POST - Don’t Judge a Blog By Its Cover

Hi all! Big thanks to Katy for allowing me to guest post on her awesome blog. Since 99.9% of you have no clue who I am, let me quickly introduce myself. My name is Doyin (pronounced “doe-ween”) and I'm the author of the daddy blog, Daddy Doin' Work. I've only been at this for a few months now and the positive feedback I've received thus far has done wonders for my fragile self-esteem and ego. Additionally I'm learning that there are some not-so-positive aspects to this gig, and that is totally fine too. Oh, and by "not-so-positive" aspects, I'm not referring to the haters. Anyone who is worth a damn will embrace haters because they are the best indicator that you're on the right track with your chosen career. I'm talking about something a little different here. Let me explain.
My most popular and controversial post to date was one that reviewed why Stay-At-Home Moms (SAHMs) have the toughest job in the world. Some loved it, some thought I was off my rocker, and some were left completely confused. Let me spend a moment on the "completely confused" folks. They weren't confused because they didn't understand the concept I was trying to convey; they were confused when they saw what I look like.
Here are a few of examples of emails/Facebook message exchanges I had with people who were referred to my FB page or blog by someone. Please note, I omitted the non-essential stuff and changed the names to protect the, um... "innocent."

First was Laura. She's a white woman (probably in her 30's based on her Facebook profile picture) and we had the following Facebook message exchange:

Laura: "Hi there! I was so moved by your SAHM post. It was brilliantly written and it makes me feel validated as a SAHM. Quick question, who is the black guy on your page? Is he a professional athlete or model?"
Me: "Thanks for the kind words! That's a picture of me. Why do you ask?"

Laura: "Nice! It's so refreshing to see a black person who writes well and doesn't act all ghetto. I wish they were all like you. Keep up the good work!"

Debrief: First off, it never gets old to read that someone thinks that I look like a model or professional basketball player. However, our friend Laura hit one of my pet peeves squarely on the head. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I cringe whenever I see people who:
·        Say “that’s retarded” to describe something or someone that they believe is dumb or unintelligent.
·        Say “that’s gay” to describe something or someone that isn’t cool.
·        Say “that’s ghetto” to describe a behavior or something that isn’t of the highest quality.
If you’re above the age of seven, you should know better than to say these things. I’ll go out on a limb here, but I would bet a paycheck that Laura hasn’t been within 100 yards of a ghetto in her lifetime. Fortunately I’m not one to get offended easily so I brushed it off – but a memo to my wonderful white readers: Please don’t say things like “act ghetto” to a black person. Most of us don’t like that very much. All in all, I think Laura had good intentions and didn’t mean any harm by her comment. I could’ve done without the “I wish they were all like you” statement, but I’m willing to let that slide.

The second was James. Here's our email exchange:

James: "Hey there, great blog! Have any of your readers commented on how weird it is that you’re the author?”
Me: "I’m not quite sure what you mean. Care to explain?"
James: "No disrespect, but don’t you find it odd that a black guy who looks like a pro basketball player composed such a great piece about Stay-At-Home Moms? It’s definitely not what I expected.”
Me: "Just out of curiosity, what did you expect?"
James: "I don’t know…I'm just shocked that someone who looks like you writes so well."
Me: "So what does a good writer look like?"
***No response***

Debrief: The universal law states that whenever someone says "no disrespect," it means that somebody's about to get disrespected. Again, much love to James for thinking that I look like a pro baller, but I took issue with his comments. Why would my appearance have anything to do with writing an article about SAHMs? My mom was one, so if there’s a man who knows about the topic it’s me. I ended the exchange by asking him what a good writer looks like. Would I be more credible if I looked like Steve Urkel from Family Matters? Or if my skin color was a few shades lighter? By the way, aren’t these just words on a computer screen? Who cares what the person looks like who created them? I sure as hell don’t. Since James never responded to my question, I hope he’s thinking “Wow, it was pretty stupid of me to say that” instead of “What an idiot. How could he not understand what I’m trying to say here??” I guess I’ll never know.


The last one was Jackie. Here's our email exchange:

Jackie: "A friend referred me here. I think it's cool that you're writing a parenting blog about your daughter. You don't see that too often."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Jackie: "I work in the inner city, and trust me - black men never talk about their kids, especially their daughters. They're always too busy talking about rap music, smoking weed, or basketball. You can be the change they need."

Debrief: I have a fundamental problem with the words “never” and “always,” because there are, um…always exceptions. Maybe it’s just me, but I chuckled that Jackie believes she’s an expert on black people because she works in the inner city. I live in Los Angeles – does that make me an expert on pretentious, stuck-up, self-important skanks and douchebags? Well, I do know a lot about those things since I’ve lived here for ten years, so maybe she makes a good point there. Anyway, all of the black fathers I know (including my dad and two brothers) love their kids and don’t spend all day freestyle rapping, getting high, or playing ball. It’s a dangerous exercise to throw a blanket over a group of people like that.

Overall it starts with us as parents. We have to teach our kids “not to be dicks" and stop judging people based on appearances. Speaking of appearances, let's test something out: Check out the picture that I included for this post. Based on appearances alone - would you guess that this individual watched Finding Nemo over 25 times and sobbed uncontrollably at the end of each viewing? Would you guess that he's a Carly Rae Jepsen fan? Would you guess that he enjoys cooking more than playing basketball? When he’s not asleep would you guess that he spends 80% of his time smiling and laughing? Would you guess that writing is his favorite hobby? Would you guess that everything he does is centered around making his wife and 17-month old daughter happy? If your honest answer is “no” to any of these questions then you’ve probably fallen victim to the stereotypes that exist in society. I want to raise my baby girl to embrace diversity, because in doing so she'll realize that we’re a lot more similar than we are different.
In closing, I know that stereotypes still exist; even in the blogging world. I could be pissed off or frustrated by it, or I can be my best self and show the people around me that I'm just one of many educated, positive, black fathers in this world who put his children first. Maybe I'm just naive, but as a writer I want to be judged for my writing. I don't want any of this "You're a great writer for a black guy" shit. Additionally, I don’t write for just black people – I write for anyone who has kids, will have kids (like Katy), or wants to have kids. If you think my blog sucks, that’s cool. If you think my blog is epic, that’s even better. Just don't grade me on a curve or give me any patronizing props because of my skin color. It’s just nuts to me that it’s 2012 and race is still an issue with some people.
I hope I didn’t come off as an angry black man who wants to kill whitey. Anyone who knows me understands that I’m a teddy bear without an angry bone in my body. Also, I love whitey. Literally, I do – my wife is half-white and half-Japanese. My main motivation to share this story with you is so you can take a deeper look at yourself to see if there are any negative stereotypes that you subscribe to. If so, you could be missing out on a lot of cool people, experiences, and blogs that could make your short stay on earth all that more enjoyable.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to work on my freestyle rap album.

Doyin Richards shares his unique and hilarious adventures as loving new dad on his blog on Twitter at @daddydoinwork, and Facebook

85 comments:

  1. Fantastic post. I had never heard of you until today. I'll be stalking you now. You have Katy to thank for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Pinwheels! Clearly you're part of the 99.9% that I referred to at the beginning - but I'm so glad you enjoyed the post enough to stalk me! :)

      Delete
  2. "I love whitey". I am cracking up.. Sorry so many of your confused compliments were backhanded. I'll be following you now. Thanks for a great post, and Thanks to Katy for sharing you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! I'm so glad you liked it, NGM. That's just a small sampling of the emails I've received - but I do my best to always have a good sense of humor about it. BIG thanks to Katy for allowing me to "Dive" in with you guys. I truly enjoy talking with all of you!

      Delete
  3. Great post Doyin. Glad I'm no longer part of the 99.9%.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Gwen! I'm glad you aren't a part of the 99.9% as well. My corner of cyberspace is much smaller than Katy's and I truly appreciate her for allowing me to use the IWADB platform to share my story.

      Delete
  4. Seriously Doyin, you rock! I wish more people had the mind set that you do! I'm off in search of your page and blog now, as you have just made another fan! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jessica! I hope you found it by now (I think Katy provided a link at the end). I owe my positive outlook to my parents, and I hope I can share that outlook with my baby girl too. Thank you for the support!!

      Delete
  5. Very well stated. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You know, (and I truly do not mean to offend here) there are some black people that do speak as if they are uneducated, but if the white people that say that "black people use ghetto slang" they must not look around much. I live in a mostly black neighborhood and I swear to you a lot of the white people around here are the truly uneducated.

    Thank you, yet again, for a great blog post. Hopefully eyes will be open. Mine have been.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not offensive, Nicole - it's true. There are plenty of black people who speak as if they're uneducated...just like there are plenty of other races who speak as if they're uneducated as well. I just had to share this story, because you would be shocked if I shared more emails that I've received from people in the past three months...the ones I included above were pretty tame. :)

      Thanks for your support! The fact that I opened your eyes makes this whole thing completely worth it.

      Delete
  7. I reserve the right to call the spatula they gave me to hold my door open when I worked on skid row a "ghetto doorstop", because, well, I was in a ghetto and it was.however, it worked well.

    Remind your wierd little haters that ghetto was origionally a European location name for where the Jews had to, HAD TO, live arounf WW1&2.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, the word ghetto refers to an area where the majority of the population comes from the same cultural, ethnic or religious background.

      Delete
    2. Actually, You are both correct. The word ghetto originated with the Jewish quarters of many European cities, however today's definition is that of what Anonymous says.

      Delete
  8. Doyin, you have a gift. Keep at it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I promise to keep writing until my fingers fall off! Thank you so much for your support :)

      Delete
  9. Asinine people never cease to amaze me. This was perfection. Xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you TLC! Common sense just isn't so common anymore, I guess. I'm glad you liked the post!

      Delete
  10. Wait.....black people can write AND take care of their children? Jeesus, the gall of people to be surprised at that. Oh, I LOVE him. A good writer is a good writer. Doesn't matter if they are 30, 60 or 12, black, white, Asian, polkadot or stripes, male or female, an at home mommy/daddy or working mom/dad. And yes, he's a good dayum writer. (He had me from the start, but Nemo......yep....well, that for sure won me over.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! I know, right?! If I gave you the password to my email box, you'd be shocked at some of the crap that comes to me.

      Yes, Finding Nemo is an all-time favorite for me - and it should be for everyone else too. Such a great movie! Thank you so much for the support :)

      Delete
  11. Great post, for a human. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very good article. I think the author has an excellent point - you can't preface your ignorant assumption with "no offense" or include everyone, always never. Nothing covers every situation. As a white girl living in India, I get a lot of this too. Perhaps not so offensive as the author got, but ill informed none the less. I know it's not an excuse for ignorance, but I hope the author doesn't take it too far to heart. As wrong as it is, I don't know that it's meant to be offensive.
    I personally love hearing about bloggers who are dads. It's pretty refreshing to hear a dads point of view on things when I hear so much about moms' points of view!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great blog! But like Katy, you are obviously too attractive to write so eloquently. I will assume it is plagiarized, probably from some saggy white woman author. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! Mary, no - I'm not saggy, white, or female - and the words are my own, but I'll take the "too attractive" comment every time. I'm so glad that you liked the post! :)

      Delete
  14. You wrote a brilliant piece on embracing diversity and not buying into stereotypes, and then ended it by referring to white people as "whitey", which, to me, has a negative connotation. Maybe it doesn't with you. It just struck me.

    I get judged on my appearance. Because I'm the size that I am, I must be lazy, smelly, eat like a horse, and willing to sleep with anyone who glances at me. None of those things could be further from the truth, and it gets old, and hurtful. Fat people who are/do those things would be/do them if they were thin as a rail.

    I wish that people could figure out that there are all kinds of PEOPLE. They don't behave a certain way because they are black or Mexican or fat or white or female or male or tall or short. They behave that way because it's who they are. It doesn't seem that hard to figure out, but apparently it is.

    I like your writing style, and they were right about one thing - you are quite handsome. But that's it - full stop - not because of or in spite of or "who'd'a thunk it". :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. That was awesome. I laughed so many times. You have a gift. Thank you for sharing it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and thanks to Katy for allowing me to share my story! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it :)

      Delete
  16. Hi guys! Thank you so much for the kind words. Since I'm relatively new to the blogging thing (about three months or so), it really makes me smile to know that there are people out there who enjoy my style. I hope to guest post with Katy again in the not-so-distant future!

    Oh, and one of the Divers told me that there's going to be a Finding Nemo 2. I damn grunted myself into unconsciousness when I heard that. Today is a good day :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's going to be a Nemo 2!?!? Ooooh! I didn't know that! I know there's a Monsters INC 2 coming out soon, though. Thanks for the heads up!

      Delete
  17. Your daughter is extremely lucky to have a loving father who well teach her not to judge a person based on stereotypes. I will be stopping by your blog when I get home tonight and I can't wait! You sound funny, insightful, and a bit sarcastic. Everything I love about Katy, keep it up :)

    I'm posting as anonymous because I'm on my phone and it messes up when I try to log on to my google account.

    -Jenn A.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is a great post! Well done, I'll be following you as well. On a side note, did you hear about Despicable Me 2? Me and my 4 kids are excited for that one!

    ReplyDelete
  19. LOVE this post. You had me with the proper use of "you're" hehehe
    Side note to Daddy Doin Work, you should consider looking into my brother's blog, From the Bungalow. I think you two could team up and do a very insightful daddy blog epic win ; )

    ReplyDelete
  20. Based on appearance alone I would actually have answered yes to all those questions. You know why? Because I can tell by looking at your smile and your eyes - not your skin color - that you are a great man, a loving husband and father, and a really damn good writer. Great guest post. Now excuse me while I go "like" your page on facebook.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Did you make those emails up, or did the dumbest people on the planet coincidentally email you on the same day? I'd like to say that people never cease to amaze me, but it turns out - they do.

    Love reading your blog. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! Guerrilla Mom, they didn't all come on the same day. If so, I think my head would've exploded. This was over the span of three or four days. People never cease to amaze me either :)

      So glad that you enjoyed the post!

      Delete
  22. Love it, love it, love it! Thank you so much for putting such a positive spin on something that so many would have taken and twisted it into something to be angry about. I will be following you as well. And I will be emailing you as well as I have a couple questions to ask. Thanks for being an awesome writer and a very handsome fella.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks April! And by all means, send your questions my way. Thanks for your support!

      Delete
  23. Hi Doyin! Katy fan over here, and new fan to you too! I love what you wrote.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Frug! I'm a big Katy fan too and I'm so glad that you enjoyed my post. I hope to keep you entertained with future posts! :)

      Delete
  24. I believe you are a breath of fresh air. My son is.a new daddy and he is just awesome and loves your blog. I am now a faithful follower.
    I am Grammie doin work. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Big props to you, Grammie Doin' Work! That makes me smile about your son. We need more people like him (I'm referring to awesome dads - not people who love my blog, but that's a nice byproduct too). Thanks for your support!

      Delete
  25. Wow. Those emails are unreal. Thanks for sharing and for your writing...I will definitely be following you. Thanks to Mary Tyler Mom via Katy for sharing as well!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thank you for your honesty and thank you for posting those bat-shit crazy replies. Amazing. Thanks also to Mary Tyler Mom via Katy for sharing. Will look forward to following you and reading more. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer - thank you for reading. All I can say is I've received a lot worse things in my inbox than this. I can laugh about it now though. Yes, MTM is awesome and so is Katy. I'm so happy to have such great blogging friends!

      Delete
  27. I do believe i have developed a crush......lol......thanks for no longer allowing us all to remain part of the 99.9% ......:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks Rita! I think the 99.9% is shrinking thanks to Katy. I really appreciate the crush and support!

      Delete
  28. Love your words, your style, your honesty and your heart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

      Delete
  29. As usual, an awesome post. Reminds me of the flack that Marilyn Monroe used to get. Every one thought that she was the dumb blonde she portrayed in her movies not realizing that she was a highly intelligent woman. Her pen pal was a dumb bell named Einstein.

    Please keep up the great work & enjoy your daughter and wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so coincidental that you mentioned Marilyn Monroe and Einstein, because I thought about bringing them up in my post. However, it probably wouldn't go over well having a nobody like me putting myself in the same sentence as those two icons.

      I really appreciate your support! I love to share my brand of writing with people and it makes me smile that you enjoy it!

      Delete
  30. Well written post, sir. I've had people leave my FB page when they found out I was a man, so I appreciate the way you're challenging stereotypes.

    I see my sister is trying to recruit you for my blog. (Thanks, 'chelle.) Take care! I'll be commenting again soon, I'm sure.

    ReplyDelete
  31. This is wonderful and awesome, and I'm so glad Katy had you on today as a guest poster. I found myself laughing as I read your post- it's hard not to, at the things people will say (or write), and not realize they sound like complete dumbs. Anyway, I will go check out your site now, and I hope you keep up with the blogging because you've got a great voice- - - for a dad.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Doylin this post was wonderful...as a black woman the majority of my friends are white i karaoke so that explains it lol jk! But at times the only way they feel they can communicate with me is by saying so called black jokes which i find offensive, i am a person rate me not by my skin but who i am! This one time a young lady who was obviously drunk assumed that the state supported me and my child...i kindly told her the only thing the state does to/for me is take my taxes. I am educated pay all my bills with no support and relate to an individual without race being invovled! Education and understanding is paramount if you changed one person's way of thinking with this blog then you've done an amazing job! Thanks sir and keep up the good work

    ReplyDelete
  33. Count me among the new "faithful," Doe-ween! Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tell my readers that it's Doe-ween like "In-between" HA! I'm a dork.

      So glad you enjoyed the post!

      Delete
  34. What a great blog! So well written. PERIOD. I will be following you & liking your Facebook page. And not because you look like a model or an athlete... although that certainly doesn't hurt! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sherrie, flattery will get you pretty much everywhere with me. Thank you so much for the kind words and for following me on Facebook. I hope to keep you entertained! :)

      Delete
  35. Although I have known you for like 15 years, I respect you more every day. Keep making me smile, friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks dear friend! That means so much coming from you. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

      Delete
  36. Thank you Katy for sharing your space with Doyin ~great read! Hi Doyin, I am a SAHM, I Look forward to reading your SAHM post.

    I admit, I laughed, alway and never seem they are both outrageous...personally, I don't think anyone particular race or gender or ethnicity has a monopoly on always and never...we are all pretty much human, right?!

    I enjoyed reading and look forward to seeing you around the internetspere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Amy! Hopefully you read my SAHM post by now. I'm curious to know what your reaction to it was.

      To be honest, I can laugh at all of these things too. I just feel bad for the people who harbor those ignorant thoughts (additionally, I feel bad for their kids - if they have any)

      Thanks for the love and support!

      Delete
  37. If I didn't already have a husband and my mental, one-sided relationship with Johnny Depp, I am fairly certain that I would be obsessed with this man. This is absolutely fabulous and I am now running over to read more, follow him on Facebook and Twitter, and possible stalk.

    Thank you Katy for sharing this and him. Love it, love you, and I now love him too.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Was routed to this post via "It happens at MY house" on Facebook. Loved it. I'm half mexican and half Osage Indian...and I look as white as can be. I love it when someone disses me, or someone around me in Spanish...so I can call 'em out. I call myself the undercover "slap that assuming douchebag spotter"

    Write ON!! You have a gift.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I shared this with my husband. He thinks you're a good looking black gentleman! Lol. I really loved this post. Keep writing. As a writing teacher of middle schoolers I know writers come in all shapes, sizes, and colors! You definitely have a gift and I hope you pass it on to your daughter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and my wife have the Johnny Depp thing in common. As a matter of fact, I walked by him in Beverly Hills about a year ago having coffee. If I knew about your obsession I would've taken a picture :)

      So glad I've earned your respect, girl!

      Delete
  40. dude - you're black dayum. never would have thunk it. i cant wait to hop over to your blog and read about sahms (my spawn are 19 and 22 and we have issues) and i miss the days of youngsters so much it hurts. so treasure what you have now. hold onto it so hard that it cant get away because they grow up so fast that its gone in the blink of an eye.

    hope you dont mind!
    just jenny
    ps - we all bleed red so what diff does skin color make?

    ReplyDelete
  41. Doyin...I LOVE THIS!!! LOVE, LOVE, LURVE IT. Keep 'em coming. I love most of all that you articulated your feelings so well, without appearing overly angry. I don't say this, obviously, because you are a black man, blah blah. I say this because *I* would have gone off on these people, and ruined the message by appearing too angry at the stupidity of these people in my response. Great lesson for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I think the reason I responded the way I did is because I was brought up to have a thick skin and not get offended easily. Since the blogging world is so intertwined these days, I have a feeling that some of those individuals will come across this post and be mortified at the silliness of their words. :)

      Thanks for your support!

      Delete
  42. I want to know about the dumpster baby comment! And all the dumpster pix!
    NM

    ReplyDelete
  43. I'm new to reading daddy blogs (I love reading what it's like on "the dad's side) and I love this. I look forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great, Marie! There are some really good Daddy bloggers out there, too. I hope to see you around!

      Delete
  44. Loved your blog! I will try to read more often. I think we have all fallen victim to another person's unintentional bias or prejudice. I personally dislike when someone looks at me and throws me in their presumption box. Best wishes to your success!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! For every stereotype that's uttered, there are a thousand people bucking that same stereotype every day.

      Delete
  45. Loved this! One of the hardest things my professor presented an assignment asking us all to reflect on our biases and prejudices. Immediately, I was on the defensive - I took great pride in being able to say I'm not prejudice and always rallying for the minority (meaning anyone finding themselves excluded from the elite groups for whatever reason). I could not start the assignment. Luckily, I had some wonderfully insightful peers. They shared their plans for the assignment and through them I began to understand. Everyone DOES have these faults. My greatest one, I discovered, was against anyone religious especially Catholic. Through that assignment I was able to come to terms... I had an issue stemming from my bad experiences attending a Catholic School. I don't think these biases / prejudices ever really go away, but they can be acknowledged, feelings validated and then put aside so a newly refreshed open mind doesn't miss out on an opportunity with another fellow human being.

    P.S. I am now stalking you too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all have our prejudices. The key is to call ourselves out on it so it doesn't manifest into something more serious. I'm so glad you enjoyed the post!

      Delete
  46. I love this a lot. It's perfect. I agree that it is a shame that in this day and age, race is still an issue. I do my best to set a good example for my children to love and appreciate everyone, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or any other "difference". I'm happy to see another parent who is working toward that goal. Keep up the good work. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Since it never gets old to hear that you look like a model.... you do. Cute cute photo Dad!

    And the post is great. One thing I'll say is that our society is so segregated, to the point where we don't interact among people who aren't like us (and this isn't just racial - we tend to live in neighborhoods where everyone is of the same political stripe as us too). I'm white and we live in a predominantly African-American neighborhood, and I've learned a lot. Biggest thing I learned is that while I think there are some cultural differences between people - there's so many cultural differences within the black community too that you can't see from 20 miles away. Just like in the white community - middle class people, poor people, Christian people, artsy people, great moms and dads, bad moms and dads, crazy people, awesome people - it's not like whites have the monopoly on having differences among us. I had a very narrow view having lived in white America for most of my life. Now, however, when I get mad at my neighbors, I am afraid I'm racist, but sometimes I realize - hey, anyone would get mad at their neighbors for regular stuff like this (you know, not taking the trash cans in, being too loud, mowing the lawn too early on a Sunday, etc). If we could just figure out a way to interact more with people who aren't like us.... well, wishful thinking. But thanks for the post!

    ReplyDelete
  48. dude, most exellent blog, but wouldnt you be a sahd instead of the usual and boring sahm? you gotta remember - you get to screw with the confused people who make those strange (and insulting/offending) comments to your blog. my usual tag line (after: im out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?) is every body bleeds red. whats your excuse... and after watching them hem and haw for a while, toss 'em a bone lol. im going to find your blog, my kids are collegiates now (the rotten ingrates) so i like to read the blogs of people wiht small kids =D i miss it so much!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Holy shit, great post. I must say when I saw "guest post" on Katy's blog I thought....eh, how good can a guest poster be compared to her? But, I was being too judgmental of guest bloggers ;)The examples of what people said and the responses are so.....common, yet you made the point of how clearly ridiculous they are. Bravo. I'm going to share this on my fb page.

    ReplyDelete
  50. How bout...But some of my best friends are black people so that means I'm an expert, right? Great post. i shall be lurking about as well now. :D

    ReplyDelete
  51. loved this post! not because its been written by a 'black guy' but because it comes from the heart and is pretty courageous! Many of us have a tendency to brush off things that irk us just so we don't create a controversy or ruffle feathers. Its refreshing to hear someone speak up! And taht too in a positive , embracing everyone way! you have a new follower :)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Happy Birthday! Though i may be a bit late, since I just 'discovered ' you. I too feel exactly the same way. As i grow older I am just so much more comfortable with who I am. Its a lovely feeling. Thanks for this lovely reflective piece of writing :)

    ReplyDelete