Monday, July 9, 2012

The Most Important Thing I Need to Do While Pregnant

Being pregnant in this day and age is no easy matter.  But, I promise you this, I am not listening.  And I am not reading or watching or learning anything.  I am staying blissfully ignorant.

Now, if you believe that totally, you are a sucker.  It would be impossible to not know some things.  And trying as hard as we have and spending the time and money and effort and heartache to MAKE THIS BABY, we have learned quite a bit.  So, here's my proposal:

Let's all just enjoy what we have and be grateful for the day. That's it.  Not living in the future of what it will be like, as I could not possibly know.  No matter what you tell me, I will not understand until I'm there, right?  

I am not stressing.  I am not worrying.  And you cannot make me! You with your helpful hints and savvy tips that I will need when I have this baby will be appreciated when I need them, but for now, we are just living in the moment as much as we possibly can. 

Deal?


Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I chuck all my sobriety living in the moment out the window. I am dealing with and grateful for what I have today.  I mean, I am SUPER GRATEFUL for what I have today.  Aren't you?  This being pregnant and sober thing is new. 

This baby will never have to see his/her mama drunk if I keep doing what I need to do to stay sober every day.  

LET ME REPEAT THAT. 

This baby will never have to see his/her mama drunk if I keep doing what I need to do to stay sober every day.  

That is the greatest gift I can give this child.  Better than any advice I can read in books or Internet chat rooms or from you my Diver Faithful, or EVEN from the doctor's offices.  First and foremost, my sobriety is going to make or break this kid. 

Right?

That's it then.  What is the single most important thing about having a baby?  For me, and for this baby in my belly it is that I stay sober.  And that doesn't mean just not drinking.  That means, working at being happy, joyous and free.  

 I remember years ago seeing a woman in a meeting who was HUGELY pregnant and I thought, geez, that is crazy to be pregnant and be going to AA meetings.  Well, guess who's tanker belly is going to be waddling into meetings up until she can't move any longer and then maybe have them brought to her?

THIS SOBER MAMA RIGHT HERE.  Loud and proud, baby!  You hear me in there?  Your mama is sober and we are going to have a great life because of that if she keeps doing it ONE DAY AT A TIME. 

42 comments:

  1. Nothing but smiles reading this! Darling... you are going to be one kick ass and SOBER mama! Of that, I have NO doubts :o)

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  2. *Sniff*
    So happy for you.
    This baby is one blessed fetus to have you for a Mommers.
    <3

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  3. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I love you. You are one of the most awesome, strong, and smart women that I know, and I am so incredibly happy for you and proud of you for speaking your mind and standing your ground.

    You got this, girlfriend. YOU. GOT. THIS.

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  4. You are so dang awesome. That is all I can say. When you will waddle your big pregnant self into AA....I love picturing that. Someone will think the same thing you did and years later will understand why. Love it.

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  5. You...are amazing. So strong - I admire you so much! <3

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  6. ty for sharing the way you feel I give you a great big hug :) I did not know really how to post my commet so I had to go anonymous

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  7. You are such a beautiful inspiration!!! What a blessed little one to have you and DH as his/her parents. Sending you all the happy, positive vibes I've got, with no unwanted advice :) lol.

    Harlee Aplin :)

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  8. Everyone loves you. You know that? Every single person who reads your blog. It is inescapable, the love. Because you are so fucking brilliant. It takes a special kind of genius to see the Truth underneath life, and an even brighter brilliance to see the Truth in one's OWN life. And an even MORE unique insight to be able to apply that Truth to one's life in a loving and positive way. You shine. You radiate. I am blinded by your glow with every new post. And I am so grateful for that searing light. I adore you.

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  9. Right on, Sista! Or is that Mutha? LOL I've been gone on vaca and come home to this fanfuckingtastic news?? Oh, yeah! HIGH FIVE!! I can't wait for your 'spaz belly' elevator dances!!! CONGRATS to all three!

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  10. Girlie...every woman is different, and so is every pregnancy. Even when a woman gets pregnant more than once, each one is different. You are doing a smart thing in dealing with what you need to deal with to make this pregnancy successful. I am so proud of you! You are awesomely amazing. Keep doing what you need to do. It's part of why I love you. I am so excited for you, for DH & for the little bit growing inside you. And if anyone gives you unsolicited advice, you can punch them with a smile & continue to blame hormones. LOL!

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  11. You are wise and amazing. So happy for you and for your little one!

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  12. I waddled my pregnant butt into meetings. And I never doubted for a second you would do the same. Recovering or not the best thing anyone can do is live in and for the moment. And thank you, for that reminder, and for yet again blinding me with your awesomeness. <3

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  13. LOVE!!!! You got it right...ONE DAY AT A TIME! You are awesome! xoxo

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  14. I find it kind of funny that the advice I give pregnant women is, "No matter what anyone else says, don't listen to anything anyone else says." A sober mama really IS the best thing we can give our children. My kids have never had to see active alcoholism and drug addiction and I hope they never do. On the days that I'm exhausted and don't have enough of my own motivation to work the program, I look at my two girls and find the push I need to get up and get to a meeting. In fact, now that they play with the girl who lives next to our Alano Club, often times is a LITERAL push to get up and get moving.

    You, are an inspiration, my dear. My life is better with you in it.

    Love you!

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  15. I fucking love you. I really fucking do. Gawd.... love love love.

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  16. It works if you work it! Yay you!

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  17. I'm a new reader... My babies are 10, 8, 5 and 3 but I agree wholeheartedly... Newly sober (11 days and counting!) but it's been a real eye opening experience already! Congratulations on the baby, stay strong and focused!

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    1. Well, I don't know you Mommy but I just have to say: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! So happy for you and proud of you. You are making good, healthy choices for today, and that is a HUGE DEAL. Eleven days!!! YOU ROCK.

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    2. Congrats on your 11 days! Keep counting, one day at a time, Mommy.... *hugs*

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    3. Just take it one day at a time and even one minute at a time if that is what it takes.
      I am proud of you!
      Congrats!

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  18. 11 days is amazing! Keep it up girl! Love you.

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  19. Keep Coming!!! Your message is awesome, so full of positive everything!! Your sobriety will definitely MAKE not BREAK your baby!!! A happy, healthy mommy is essential for a happy, healthy baby!! Congratulations! Stay Happy, Joyous and Free!!

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  20. I just love you. The best thing you can do is BE!!!! Be sober. Be present. Be you. All the other stuff falls into place. Heck, I had 4 kids and I learned and did things different with each one. Nothing in a book makes you the wonderful, amazing, kick ass sober mama you are naturally. That's what INSIDE you. You could mind-meld with every mother alive and not learn a thing until you hold that darling baby in your arms. It's instinctual, not every mother had the instinct but I am willing to bet my babies you have it and you will kick ASS!!!!!!!!!!

    Now go on with your cute pregnant self. I can't handle how cute you are...

    I love you!!!!!!!

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  21. And baby will be SOOOOOO proud of you. You have come this far and got through the hard part. There are many postive other outlets out there.

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  22. Mary W. Spot on. I bask in the glow of your brilliance, beauty and strength. And I an incredibly happy I found you.
    -Tacocat

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  23. Mary W...SPOT ON! I bask in your brilliance, beauty, grace and strength. I'm so grateful I found you.
    -Tacocat

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  24. You are going to be an amazing mama...so.excited.for you!
    Anne
    www.allaboutelizabeth-anne.blogspot.com

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  25. Damn it. I got something in both of my eyes. What a lucky baby this is going to be; to have a mommy like you. So much love, Katy. xoxo

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  26. I have been reading your blog for awhile now, and I admire you so much. I am struggling with sobriety at the moment- taking medications to reduce the craving for alcohol but not going to meetings yet because of the lack of anonymoty in this small town I live in.

    I have tried out patient treatment, and I know I need to quit. I have two beautiful reasons to quit, my two daughters, and I also need to stay sober to keep my job, as sobriety is written right into the job description.

    Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I admire you and hope that I can soon be sober, one hundred percent of the time. I am doing better- as far as no more withdrawal symptoms. I used to shake every day about two o clock. So things are getting better.

    I am going back in to outpatient and going to try AA again, even though I know it is not anonymous. I can't drink anymore, at all, ever.

    Thank you for putting yourself out there, you give me, and many, hope.

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    1. Thank YOU. And I cannot say keep trying AA enough. I know it sucks at first but keep going!

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    2. And, I just love you. There I said it. All the best to you. Xoxo

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  27. Katy- Jam your tummy up to the computer and read this out loud: Dear Dumpster baby, Your mom is awesome. When you come flying out and see her for the first time, I want you to give her a big salute because you are one lucky little punk. Love, Craftwhack

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  28. There are so many ways you'll screw up as a parent (speaking from experience), it's great you're determined to not make drinking one of them. I believe you. I posted this today about meeting my grandfather as a sober man for the first time in my 38 years. It's short, I hope you don't mind me sharing a link here. http://www.suburbansnapshots.com/2012/07/better-late.html

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  29. Love this post! It reminds me that I need to go back to meetings. I haven't gone since I had my hysterectomy a few months ago. Your post made me realize that I miss all of the positives I get from them.

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