NOW, my question is, why does it have to be GREAT EXPECTATIONS for Multiples? Why can't it just be, WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN TO KEEP OUR SHIT TOGETHER for Multiples? Or, Christ on a Bicycle, you can have a vaginal birth and THEN a Cesarean on the second baby all in one delivery? I'm out. I AM OUT.
Just kidding, but not really. NO really, I'm totally kidding, we are SO READY for this. You know that's the number one thing people ask us right now is, "ARE YOU READY?" and my answer is always, "No, not even close and how could we be?"
We toured the hospital in stages yesterday on our tour with the multiples group -- about 10 couples all having multiples -- Triage, Operating Room, Delivery, NCIU, and Recovery. This hospital is like a 5 star hotel except there are a lot of damn crying babies (and crying Katy's) and lots of inappropriate body parts hanging out everywhere.
I had my second of 4 baby showers on Saturday and cried about 14 times. Gratitude and fear are my go-to's right now. I'm either deathly afraid or so damn grateful it moves me to tears. Sometimes it's both, I AM SO TERRIFIED AND YET SO GRATEFUL to be in this position that I ugly cry several every day about close to nothing. So, I cried at the shower, which was absolutely lovely, given by my My Lynnie and my favorite, most amazing women were there.
The nurse who was leading the class asked, "How many of you have gone on the internet to read about having multiples?" I was proud of all of us, that only a couple raised their hands. I run away from that shit. I've read a few books on multiples, and at the last one, my husband told me to stop reading. And I have and am reading the new Stephen King now instead and feeling much more calm. The thing about the unknown is it causes fear. Once we get going, we are going to be just fine. We will be frazzled and tired and crazy, but at least the speculation will be done.
That fear I had when I got sober of WHAT WILL MY LIFE BE LIKE WITHOUT DRINKING is gone now because I've lived sober for quite a while and the fear was replaced with how INCREDIBLE life is in sobriety. I imagine that everyone who has kids has that fear and then all of a sudden, you just are a parent and doing the best you can. It may not be GREAT EXPECTATIONS in CHILD REARING all the damn time, but it's pretty damn good.
I can honestly say, I've never felt so many emotions in my life as my hormonal self is feeling right now. Everything is amplified and through tears. Whether it be happy or sad or scared or confident - and grateful to be confident and feeling good - it manifests in tears. And that is just fine. I don't ever want to forget any of this. This life that I have today and what I'm going through and feeling, as uncomfortable and crazy as it is sometimes, is so much better than I ever dreamed it could be.
Someone wrote me an email last week saying that "only rich, entitled people get ivf" and that I was "rubbing my pregnancy in the faces of my readers". Now, rarely do I get really uppity about something someone writes me if it's someone telling me I suck or something, I take it with a grain of salt and try to move on, as I am not for everyone. But to say that I am rich and entitled is the antithesis of who I am. And no one knows all the reasons my husband and I did IVF because that is private. And how we were able to pay for it is private. We are FAR FROM RICH and we both work our asses off for what we have. So, this hurt me deeply. I don't ever want to rub anything in the face of anyone. ESPECIALLY women who so desperately want a baby. That is the whole reason I started this blog and page was to connect and talk about my journey. With sobriety and with finding my child/children - whatever form that takes. I don't take one second of my life for granted. The fact that this is happening is beyond my wildest dreams. And if I am AT ALL coming across as anything other than completely grateful and thrilled to have this be happening, I don't want to be doing it.
I am pregnant. With twins. And while I try not to have EXPECTATIONS, It's pretty damn GREAT. See what I did there?
Whoever told you that you are rubbing your pregnancy in people's faces-is being silly. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading about your journey with your twins-and you gave me the motivation I needed to try again for a baby after 3 miscarriages. Thank you for this and keep writing! I am truly grateful for ladies like you. <3ReplyDelete
Have you had your progesterone levels checked. My Dr didn't see any reason to check mine, but I insisted after 3 miscarriages and unfortunately I don't produce progesterone and you need that to carry a baby. Good luck!Delete
My doctor never did check my levels-but-I must have missed a sentence when typing yesterday-I am currently pregnant now! I was put on progesterone up until 10 weeks and I am currently 13 weeks! :)Delete
Can I just say that I think it's great you had the opportunity to do IVF, and congrats that it was successful.. The only thing that makes me think of you is, Wow - that woman really wanted a baby to put herself through that. I have several friends who have used IVF, and none of them are rich or entitled. They scrimp and save and deal with the crappy house and car and no vacations because what they want is a baby, and like almost everyone else, thay worked for what they wanted. SO so happy for you!ReplyDelete
I have been reading your blog for several months now and you have never come across as uppity. Nor have I ever felt like you were flaunting money or acting like you were anything other than completely appreciative of all the wonderful things in your life. That person is just an asshatReplyDelete
You go, girl. :) I am the mommy of a lovely 2 1/2 year old monster/angel, and I have the same same same ups and downs. You'll do it. And you'll do it amazingly. And then you'll do it badly. And then you'll be AWESOME again! It's just like life... sometimes you're on top, and sometimes you have poop on your forehead and two screaming babies. I don't even know you in real life, but I am so excited for you. You are going to ROCK it!! :)ReplyDelete
I love your journey! I personally chose to not go the IVF route - mostly because I'm crazy enough without hormones :) I am just some stranger far, far away who wants the very best for you & am thrilled that you're getting your babies! AND I can't wait to virtually meet those babies when they come out singing & dancing :)ReplyDelete
Trolls will be trolls :) Just be happy little you. xxoo Smoochies <3
My husband and I are just now starting our journey into IVF, and while it is very expensive and our insurance doesn't cover it, we are not rich (yet, we are white) and we already struggle with the 2 kids we have now (both from our first marriages) we know that our family will not be complete until we have one of "ours"ReplyDelete
I can tell you I am so very happy for you and so very glad you put it all out there for your readers, it makes *me* feel like I do have a fighting chance
You're an inspiration. Ignore the silly nillies. Looking forward to meeting Hall n Oats ;DReplyDelete
Big love. BIG, BIG LOVE. CynReplyDelete
A.D.D. Music Mamma
Well, Sally-boy and Miss Eliza paid for it, duh. MYOB. I cannot imagine you rubbing your pregnancy in people's face, and this is the culmination of what this blog is all about, so shushies.ReplyDelete
Love you, lady. So, so happy for you. Eff the haters. xoxoReplyDelete
We are all on different journey. While it is very hard for many that can't afford or IVF doesn't work, I know in my own heart I had to not let everyone's blessing take something away from me personally, in my very own infertility situation. Pregnant women or being around babies was always another reminder of my complete failure. I certainly had IVF envy, as it was out of our financial reach. I was on the road of complete failure, feeling so pathetic and sorry sorry for myself, and the dreaded "why me" phase of the cruelness infertility brings to attempted parenthood. It is a healing choice, to rise to be happy for others, but take great care of your own Infertility "open wound".ReplyDelete
Complete failure? To not be impregnated? Oh, dear. There are so many accessible options. God opens windows, just look for them. Biology is just that. . . My co-worker just adopted a foster baby. He is a beauty. His adoptive parents are white and he is multi-racial, but he is beautiful and loved. They had a bio baby and lost it at 4 years old to a LIFE LONG battle with Leukemia. There are options. Talk about it, pray about it, act on it.Delete
There are many ways to make what you want happen. I desperately wanted a third child but we decided that we couldn't sacrifice to do IVF. We are blessed to have the two children we do have and have lost three on the journey to get them. I first felt like a failure that I couldn;t get pregnant or stay pregnant. Then I felt like a failure that I had to have c-sections. That is ALL wrong because there is no failure there.
I have come to terms with all of it and at this point I am so happy I only have two amazing healthy kids.
I am so proud fo Katy for her dreams coming true, and for the hard work she does every day to be sober. Parenthood is not an easy job! Not for the lazy or squeamish if you are doing it RIGHT. It is a wonderful adventure and I know that Katy & DH will be up for the task.
Katy, you have not rubbed anyone's nose in your miracle! If you don't like it -- DON'T Read her blog.
There are so many options and not all of them are accesible for everyone. I wanted desperately to have a third child and I was devastated that the fertility formula we worked for the first two was not going to work. We couldn't scarifice to do IVF, but there were many options we decided to not follow. Yes, it hurt to have friends who were reproducing and birthing with seemingly no issues. It took me a long time to come to terms with my "failure" infertility, miscarrages, and c-sections. But now I know I am not a failure.
I am beyond happy and proud of Katy and DH that they are pregnant!!! She works hard every day to be sober and not smoke. This is a new adventure for them, that I know they will rise to and be amazing parents.
If you don't like what you read, go read a different blog but don't bad mouth someone who has worked hard and gone through a lot to get where they are!
One day I'll share the story about how terrified I was when I had my first child that I faked feeling sick so I wouldn't embarrass myself when I had to dress him to take him home, because I didn't have the faintest idea what to do with a baby. (Oh, wait, I think I just told that story...)ReplyDelete
You'll be fine. If I can do it, anyone can. <3
Ok this is what i know...whoever said that doesn't read or follow you because they would see and understand that you are just so happy and grateful for what you have and are doing and have been through. You are one of my happy points on a daily basis and i know that you can't possibly be this happy bubbly perfect person 24/7 but that is what you do on here and gives ghe rest of us something to smile or laugh at or whatever everyday and for that I thank you and appreciate you and everybody else needs to stop judgibg critising and just sit back and enjoy and share your happiness and joy because thats what its about and when hall & oates get here they are going to be healthy happy and beautiful and give you all you ever wanted and that's all that matters. That is all.ReplyDelete
I haven't been reading your blog for long, but I LOVE it!!! You have given me an insight to how the people in my life living with not drinking are going through. I have never had children (my choice) but what you share gives me an insight into what is all about...the person who wrote that about IFV is not in a happy place, and I you shouldn't take it to heart, she is lashing out in pain, anger, and all those other emotions and you were an easy target. This is especially true as you are an entity on the internet and without face to face time it's easy for people to do. I think you are an inspiration to all those who are living a sober life, want to live a sober life, as well as those that want to have a baby but for one reason or another it just hasn't happened yet. I hope this person that said that to you find the peace & happiness she is looking for, but I hope she also realizes that lashing out at you is wrong!!!! Wish you, DH, and Hall & Oats all the love & happiness any family can handle x 10 :)ReplyDelete
Miss Katy. You are a beautiful and inspiring woman. You have gone through so much and it is such a blessing that you are finally having your babies that you have always dreamed about. I'm happy for you that you were fortunate enough to try IVF and I feel so much joy for you that it worked, you deserve it! Don't let anyone get you down, this is your moment. Keep being amazing. <3ReplyDelete
I am so so so sorry that you had to deal with an email like that right now. Clearly this person didn't get the memo that there is to be no raining on your parade right now. And, as you know already, some people just really don't understand the whys and the hows, and frankly it's none of their damned business in the first place. I love you. xoxoReplyDelete
I was amazed at how EXACTLY like they said it was going to be it was... and at the same time how EXACTLY NOT how they said it was going to be it was. I felt completely ready and completely not ready at the same time. And as soon as my son was born, it seemed that the world before those moments had never really existed. No matter how much you prepare, you are walking into an experience you've never had before! I wish you a unique and wonderful journey birthing 2 beautiful babies. I wish for you a lifetime of happiness for your entire family. And I wish for you the time and energy you will need to blog once you are a mom... because there are so many, many memories to preserve!ReplyDelete
Rich or poor or I between, that hussy can suck it because you're hilarious!ReplyDelete
I, for one, would LIKE you to rub your babies in my face. Babies smell good. :-)ReplyDelete
You have NEVER come across as anything but thrilled, happy, and insanely grateful about your life as it is. EV-ER!! I can't believe anyone said anything different. Keep spreading your joy. Maybe the sourpuss will catch some of it.ReplyDelete
I am a big BIG fan of yours, KitKat, and I have been following your blog for a bit. You are AWESOME and INSPIRING and I have half the mind to go tell that ugly person where to go and what they can do when they get there... but I digress. Infinite congrats to you and DH on your miracles and I am ROOTING FOR YOU ALL THE WAY!ReplyDelete
I love reading your blog, I too am a sober drunk and am 5 months pregnant. I have an 8 year old son and was told I couldn't have any more so I thought I was safe...........surprise lol unfortunately I am on my own with this pregnancy and baby and it's tough so thank you for making me laugh everyday :) I also started a facebook community page to write out all my frustrations on it is called "I want to kick my ex in the balls" please check it out any input is greatly appreciated.ReplyDelete
My lovely friend...keep doing what you do. Why? Because you're doing it great! Your blog is the place you can chronicle your journey & allow the rest of us to hop on for the ride. Rubbing it in? How? You are the most grateful person I probably know. And that motivates me. Your Facebook page is connectivity. And I am grateful for it. People there are there to support you in this journey. You have a story to share and to keep sharing. So...keep doing it. Even if it's just for you, keep doing it. Keep crying it out, too. Because that's what you need to do. And your hubby is very wise to encourage you to stop reading that "here's what you should do/here's what is going to happen" stuff. You are doing a fabulous job just gratefully experiencing moment-by-moment, day-by-day. You're doing great, kid. Love you. And...if it turns out to be triplets, like that other couple, you will deal with that, too. (like I dreamed...hehe)You are awesome & amazing & bring hope to so many. You amaze me everyday. And I did it only one at at time.ReplyDelete
Aw, it's so scary and you never feel like you know what you're doing. Our twins are 10 months old and quite honestly my husband and I are amazed that we've not only kept them alive but that they are thriving and HAPPY. How the hell that happened is a mystery because neither one of us know anything about babies, much less two at one time! It's so scary but so unbelievably wonderful. Even when they are both melting down and you really just want to join them, remember what a true gift they are. Our little heathens have quickly become our life and I wouldn't have it any other way! Congrats and you will do fine :)ReplyDelete
First- congratulations! Twins are such a great surprise. My hubs (Grumpy) always hoped for twins, even though we had four (one at a time). I found your site through "you know it happens at your house too". Your site name just struck me as awesome. Grumpy/I always wanted a dumpster baby ourselves. We kind of like a crowded house. So glad you haven't been searching the net and making yourself crazy. I'm a labor & delivery nurse the last 20is years. One thing you must have learned by now: you have absolutely no control over what life brings. Go with the flow. This is like one long marathon, only instead of a T-shirt you get 2 babies- Yeah You!ReplyDelete
You are going to do GREAT I just know it, and I know I'm not alone in anticipating the forthcoming stories of mommy-hood!ReplyDelete
(And of course you're not 'rubbing it in people's faces.' You've never come off like that even ONE IOTA. Ignore that dingaling.)
I think you're rubbing it in people's faces.ReplyDelete
I just miss rubbing my face up against yours. I love you and you are such an inspiration to not only to those trying to conceive, but to those of us who already have our little people.ReplyDelete
You live your life beautifully. Thank you for sharing your journey.ReplyDelete
After all you've accomplished, you should rub people's noses in it like a dog who has peed on the rug. Ok, I don't do that, but you get the idea. Haters gonna hate. Just enjoy the shit out of it, even those without trouble only get to do this a few times in their lives so live.it.up.ReplyDelete
First off - four baby showers! Those babies are so blessed Miss Katy! :) H&O are already so loved! I do find it sad when people have to be so negative and try to take away your joy. I have one Peanut who is 12. I could never give her back, but I remember my ex-mil saying plenty of times "aren't you glad she wasn't twins!?" Maybe if she'd had a twin, she'd be busier today lol! Best wishes for you and the Dumpster Hubs & those precious babies.ReplyDelete
P.S. sounds like you'll need to deactivate Grandmama's email account (or just assume those negative emails are from her...) :) mini coffee cup - *cheers* to you!
Someone will always complain about something and when given the opportunity they will attack another without foundation standing on their unjust soap box.ReplyDelete
It's true, many cannot afford IVF. That doesn't mean by sharing your story you are rubbing it in anyone's face. You have faced your trials and tribulations. You have conquered demons and not only recognize how lucky you are to have had another chance at this life but are truly and honestly grateful. That my dear is far from rubbing it in. Hall and Oates are going to be 2 of the luckiest babies b/c their parents know struggle and success and that will be passed on to them. You've worked hard to get to this point and no one has the right to try to take away even a second of your happiness.
You're not rubbing anyone's faces in it, you're just sharing your joy.ReplyDelete
Thank you for sharing your joy. You help me appreciate the little things in my life.
Seriously, I love how amazing you are and your attitude is towards life. I hate how hurtful and mean people can be with their judgmental attitudes... and how they feel it necessary to actually share that with people. It makes me want to pull my hair out.ReplyDelete
I am so excited for you, your DH and these babies! They couldn't be more blessed with this family they're being born into. Big hugs to you, you fabulous woman!
P.S. I hope it's not bad that the other thing I got from this was... "OH! A new Stephen King book is out? How did I NOT know this?! Must. Get. To. Amazon."
I love your blog and am inspired by your journey. My twins are going to be 14 next month, yet I remember like it was yesterday being at the stage you are in. Parenthood is the scariest, most gratifying thing I have done thus far and I am ridiculously happy that you are joining our club. Don't let any naysayers rain on your parade, and please keep being the funny, spaz dancing ,prego mom of twins you are.ReplyDelete
I like that you aren't doing pregnancy reading online. I did waaaay too much of it with my first, and NONE with my second and was a much more content pregnant woman. Good job. Also, I like that one of the labels for this post is FUCK.ReplyDelete
I thought I would be the first mom in America that just lacked "motherly instinct" because I didn't get it. I thought "How in the hell am I just gonna 'know' what to do??? I have NO IDEA what to do!!" But low-and-be-damn-hold, I fucking knew what to do and knew my babies (one at a time). Motherhood is amazing and freaking hard. You are gonna rock the shit out of it lady! DevanReplyDelete
Some people are just angry, ugly trolls and can't stand for anyone else to be happy. It is no one else's business how/why you got pregnant with twins. That's between you, and your husband. I can tell by looking at your photos, reading your blogs, that you are so happy, and so thankful. Do not let one person bring you down, not even one bit. It took my husband and I awhile to get pregnant with our daughter, and after she was born the doctor's told me I'd need help getting pregnant again, so we mourned the fact we would probably not have more kids. However, for my daughters first birthday...we found we were pregnant again, a MIRACLE!! And a few weeks later, learned we were having twins. Best 24th birthday present ever. Things happen that are out of our control. Then beautiful things can happen out of our control as well. Life is a crazy, messed up beautiful thing. Embrace it.ReplyDelete
I think some people are so engulfed in their own pain that they can't see past it. Not everyone has reached the beautiful realization that you have - feelings aren't facts. They matter, but they aren't facts. Just because I feel a certain way about your situation doesn't mean that you are responsible for my feelings. It is a bummer that this person felt the need to rain on your parade, but at the same time, it's sad they this person is drowning in their own pain.ReplyDelete
At any rate, I'm sure you've shrugged it off by now. If not, feel free to come to my house and rub your two gorgeous babies in my face! There won't be any more in our house. :(