|I have to keep saying, I don't need this bullshit nonsense any more. |
- I started smoking at age 28, when I got sober. Because I'm an addict. And wanted to give my full attention to booze while I was doing it. And then gave my full attention to smoking when I did it. I'm committed to honoring my addictions. Been smoking 10 years.
- I pay $1.20 per pack. I know a guy. Money is not an issue for me quitting.
- I quit in August this year for the first time, lasted 6 weeks fully quit. Used patches and exercise plus doing a mainly vegan diet, and it worked. I also lost 30 pounds. Bonus!
- I am a smart person. We all know how bad smoking is for many reasons. But addictions wins out over any logic or reason. It just does.
- This is my personal struggle. I can only tell you my experience from my perspective. It doesn't make it right and it doesn't make it wrong. IT IS WHAT IT IS.
The Facebook page started exactly when I quit. So some of you remember and encouraged me back then. And I appreciate it so much. I know I sound like a broken record here, but quitting fucking sucks and many of us need more than one attempt to do it right. To those of you who quit successfully, I admire the hell out of you. Seriously. I really appreciate you all being patient and supportive with me and all the other folks out there trying to quit. Sometimes for the 10th time.
This is from last time right before quitting. It still applies. This is from right at the beginning of quitting last time. It still applies.
Full disclosure. I can go weekdays having one a day. But weekends and days off and social situations, I have more. That's a slippery slope. I use it as a crutch for sure. It's all I have. Besides serious social anxiety. I got off all meds and booze and that's great, But the smoking is the hardest by far. It's about coping in different ways. Replacing self destruction with healthy behaviors. WHICH GOES AGAINST MY VERY NATURE. If I didn't pause, and think about what I do all fucking day long, I would be self destructive 99 percent of the time. It's where I go. It's who I am. But I know we can change behaviors. I know it. I live it.
We are starting again. For many of us, this is a resolution. For many, it's another attempt after many failed attempts. For me, it's because it's overdue and we have a baby coming this year, I'm sure of it.
It's not easy to admit failure. It's not easy to admit addiction. But with my history, I know it's admitting and dealing with it, through action, that makes it work. Also, I know it's doing it with others who are going through the same thing that helps.
I feel like I know what to expect this time around, But it doesn't make it any easier, Quitting sucks. Plain and simple. But if we try to help each other, hopefully it sucks a tiny bit less. I'm going to do my best here to help and be supportive. And I know you'll do the same for me.
I'm not all fucking sunshine and rainbows and puppies. I'm simply saying, what I said before and what my Sponsor told me while I was quitting drinking. You can drink/smoke tomorrow if you really want to, just don't drink/smoke today.
I am your humble servant in this battle. I believe we can do this. Do you?