Thursday, January 12, 2012

Things I Love Thursday - Part 23

Don't say I didn't warn you.  If you are on the Facebook page, you know I am obsessed. 
This one is Dolly Parton, y'all.

Oh sure, she doesn't look like this any more, but does anyone look like they did years ago?  She will be the first person to say, hell yeah, I have work done.  She never has tried to hide any of it. 
It doesn't diminish her importance or her fabulosity.  She is still WAY over the top and cheeseball and super excited about everything, and THAT, I relate too. 

 I have stars in my eyes when I look at her.

She is an underdog.  I always root for an underdog.  A human or creature who has no right succeeding and making their way in the world.  Yes indeed.  I am IN.

Of course I look up to this woman.

And talk about grateful - for this? 9 to 5?  What working woman DOESN'T feel empowered by this song and movie?  This is 30 years old, and I am bopping around to it right now as I write this. 

Of course, any woman or proper gay man worth his/her salt,
knows about one of the greatest fucking movies of our time.

Thanks Krystle!
  My favorite quotes from that movie are of course Miss Truvy Quotes.  And yes, this play and screenplay were not written by Miss Dolly, but can you honestly hear them spoken by anyone else?  I can't.

This is my status last night:
"You guys know I have obsessions, right? Owls, Sister Wives, Irish Dancers, etc. The ultimate living person obsession may just be Dolly Parton. Here's why I think this, I fantasize about hanging out with her. And I know she loves church. I WOULD EVEN GO TO FUCKING CHURCH WITH HER. Ahem, everyone calm down. It's not gonna happen, but still, that's my dream. To meet Miss Dolly. And maybe even sing gospel songs with her. *runs away and hides*"

I wrote that after being in the shower and singing this song at the top of my lungs, for the 8 millionth time:

I told my husband recently that my vocal range is quite similar to Dolly's in that I can sing along with her in quite good fashion.  Meaning if we were to ever karaoke, THIS would be my song.  But I haven't karaoke'd since I got sober 10 years ago, and I'm pretty sure nobody wants to see that. 

I really don't need to explain the balls this woman has.  She came from nothing, and she gives back in a ton of different ways.  LOOK AT THAT BROAD.  Jesus God in a baby manger.  She is divine.  I can't say much more than what has been said about her already in many different ways.

Now, one bone to pick.  That "I will Always Love You" song of hers, makes me want to blow my fucking brains out.  But the rest, even the jesusy songs, I'm cool with.  That should tell you something right there. 

I revealed around Schmoliday time that I truly believed that Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton were Mr. and Mrs. Claus for a good long time when I was young, due to the charade they had going for years and I was sucked into the Hard Candy.   So in turn, I have a really fucked up view of Kenny Rogers to this day. 

I take a lot of shit for loving Dolly so much.  And that's fine.  I will go mama bear on your ass if you start talking old folks home and all that.  I respect my elders.

Especially one who pays so much money to look so cheap. 

Now, when we going to see this?


  1. How I wish she could read this blog right now - she would love you!

  2. I wanted to be her when I was little. I had her records on vinyl, watched her movies (what little girl shouldn't watch The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, I mean come on), and stuffed the shit out of my shirts.

    And you are way out of line in reference to that song. I blame Whitney. ;)

  3. loved this!
    and yes, steel magnolias IS the best movie EVER.. and her rack is what dreams are made of!! :)

  4. Dolly's pretty rad. She may be one of your very best TILTs.

  5. Ok, so you hate the song but did you know that Dolly REFUSED to sell "I Will Always Love You" to Elvis because she would have to give up all rights to it! YUP. And at that time NO ONE said no to ELVIS. I thinks she's the bomb for THAT alone. The rest...well, let's just say "is rhinestones and sequins!" :)

  6. OhEmGee I got mention, I am now so giddy with excitement my hubby's going to think I lost it.

  7. Loved this post about Dolly. I remember my parents going to see her and Kenny Rogers in concert circa.... 1983, 1984? Anyway... I always had a huge crush on her and still love her. She's taken some hshots over the years but has always fought back. She is a genuinely good person with a big heart.

    oh and just because I loved Steel Magnolias... doesn't mean that I'm fabulously gay, thank you very much, lol.... As we learned from Clariee.... All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.

  8. you definitely need to try to get this to her. maybe you can send her a message on twitter!

  9. Hard Candy Christmas and Joeffinglene. Oh how I sing the shit out of them. Joleeeeeeeene.

  10. I had to come read this again.....don't even get me started on Kenny Rogers "The Gambler" album, Dolly's "Coat of Many Colors " album and Crystal Gayle "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue". I slept with all of those in the bed with me for weeks. I cried when my brother stepped on The Gambler and broke it. CRIED.

  11. Oh my...another Dolly fan-atic. Here are more reasons to love her. Here in Tennessee she has partenered her Imagination Library with Books from Birth to improve childhood literacy. Parents who sign their children up get FREE books EVERY MONTH from birth until they are five years old. The books are of wonderful quality and are well known titles... But wait there's more...If you don't know this it will blow your's so Dolly. Plans are in the works to partner with Gaylord to build the first...wait for it...water park/snow park here in Tennessee. One thing about Dolly...she is over the top/do it up right. Love her. I have never seen her around town here but I did see her sister Stella at the hahaha.