|Church Camp. Probably 1989 or so. That's me with the shoulder pads, the madras shorts, the bandana, the big socks and the bad perm.|
The good old days. A simple mistake I made today while putting on my earrings made me think of being in church camp and doing this with an ice cube and a safety pin.
Status update that I posted today, got me started here:Things were so simple when I was a teenager. And yet I thought everything was so complicated. I was super churchy girl. I was a figure skater. I was a virgin. I never had a drink until I was 18. I was dunked in the river, newly baptised Born Again at 16. Those were the glory days. I didn't know any better. I had no experience with people who were different than me. I thought I knew love and compassion, but I had no idea. It wasn't shown to me, so I didn't know how to show it to others.
I pierced my ear - second hole, left ear - at church camp when I was 15. I haven't used that hole in 20 years. This morning my earring accidentally went in there no problem. I think there's some Back to the Future thing happening now. Like that hole is a portal into the past. I feel the need to tie a bandana around the knee of my ripped jeans that are peg-legged with two different popped collar Izod tops and matching socks. HOLD ME.
|You remember this girl? She was an idiot.|
In 1991, I had my first drink. And then it all busted wide open. The shit hit the fan. I became an alcholic and that meant destruction every where I turned. The switch had been flipped and I was in for the long haul. By my own hand. Why do we not appreciate what we have when we have it? I think it's the way of the young that we just don't know any better. The older I get and the longer I'm sober, the more I can hear myself saying, "this is so good. appreciate THIS. RIGHT NOW". And I actually do. Living in the moment is not an easy concept to learn. But it's crucial to contentment.
When I was young, I thought I knew everything. I also thought people who didn't love Jesus were bad and were going to Hell. I judged because the church taught me to judge. I was judged by the church so I thought I was bad. Now of course I think that's all a bunch of fairy tales, because I've lived too much and met too many great people who are not Christians to know that to be true. I am so grateful for every single thing and horrible experience I've gone through. I never would have learned compassion otherwise.
It's great if you love Jesus. I don't think Jesus is the problem. It's the organized religion that's the problem. Love and compassion are my church. Acceptance and tolerance and love. Did I say love? I don't need anything more than going through the shit storm I went through to know that is what heals. It allows me to feel compassion for others in a way that cannot be taught by books or by sitting in church.
I will not judge you for your religion. All I ask if you don't judge me for my decision not to participate in one. I'm not FOR abortion. I am FOR human rights. I am for Gay marriage, or as we like to call it, marriage between people who love each other, same as Dumpster Husband and I.
Living in the moment. Free of judgement and conditions. Sounds strangely like a dog. Which leads me back to what I believe to be true, dogs are better than humans. I strive to be more like a dog.
|Dixie at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, September 2011|
Beautifully said and refreshing to hear. I love it!ReplyDelete
Love you more today, than I did yesterday (and, BOY, that is SAYING sonething!!) <3ReplyDelete
I love you so much for this. I totally get the born again/baptised/judge-every-one-but-we're-not-really-judging thing. I was raised the same way. Leaving 'the church' (and I'm not referring to the catholic one, I'm referring to the "We are the only one true church") was difficult. So difficult that my mother pronounced me as being taken over by satan.ReplyDelete
Once I got some distance from that, I realized how close-minded I was raised to be. I have so much more love and compassion and tolerance now, than I ever did before. I've met amazing people that I wouldn't have had a chance to meet otherwise. While I still go to church, I found one that is filled with love, kindness, empathy, and acceptance.
Even still, I think that organized religion does so much harm. Creates a lot more anguish than necessary.
You are a beautifully spaztastic person. I heart you!!
I love my church, and am lucky that I belong to one that is so open and welcoming and non-hypocritical. I won't say tolerant, because it is so condescending to be "tolerant" of anything rather than understanding and accepting of people and their choices, and even their problems.I love taking my kids to church, but realize that it is MY responsibility, not any church's, to raise them to be good, compassionate, loving people. Thanks for sharing your perspective, and well written as always.ReplyDelete
Just found your blog and enjoy it. Very well said about religion and rights. I couldn't have said it better!ReplyDelete
You are something special. So much love. *smewchies*ReplyDelete
Gosh, what an awesome woman you've turned into. I am honored to know you . . . and grateful to read your work. This is beautiful --just like you.ReplyDelete
addisgrammies said what I was going to, so instead I'll say--what she said!ReplyDelete
I converted to a faith based on a love of its (modern-day) philosophical underpinnings. My real religions are the ones you've described here.
You inspire me Dumster!ReplyDelete
You are a crazy beautiful person. You inspire me , so glad I found your blog.you are a gifted talented writer.ReplyDelete
What a great post.ReplyDelete
I visited Best Friends last March and the July before that. What a wonderful place. I can't wait to go back.
Love, love, love absolutely every word of this post.ReplyDelete
I too thought anyone who didn't love Jesus was going to hell, and did everything in my power to try to persuade them over to the heavenly light. Same same with now understanding it's all fairy tales, that goodness doesn't come from a belief.... but from the compassion and LOVE you speak about.ReplyDelete
Thanks, Katy, for "speaking right to me", again. :D
Loved it! I enjoy reading everything you put up! :)ReplyDelete
Thank you,I think I just needed to know and hear that I'm not the only one who thinks and feels the same.Thanks again.ReplyDelete
This girl right here was raised in a strict Pentecostal family. I was so damaged that I swore off organized religion and refuse to force religion on my children. I wont hold them back from it if they want to go either. One day, I will write about it. But it just brings too many emotions up that I don't want to deal with.ReplyDelete
So glad I stumbled across your blog today. My name is Angie and today I am a very grateful recovering junkie/drunk. I was having a hard day and after reading a few of your posts I LOVE them!!!ReplyDelete