Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Myth, Myth! Yes.

I'm here to dispel some myths.  About me or other humans who may have the same tendencies as I do.  I want to share some pretty blatant stereotyping that people love to engage in with me.  It's funny a lot of the time, and I partake in making fun of myself a good deal.  Which is all fine and good until it goes too far and people just act like jackholes about it and the proverbial straw is broken. 

This one grinds my gears lately.  I had nothing to do with the way I was born or who I was born to.  I had no call on my genetics.  I look this way.  It doesn't define me as boring.  I'm a pretty girl.  So what.  Get over it.  It's about the least interesting thing about me.  It's sometimes a character defect.  I hear women especially say all the time, "pretty girls don't have a personality" or "pretty girls just rely on their looks and they don't develop other facets".  I call bullshit.  If you have read me or know me, you know I am so much more than a pretty face.  I resent the fact that women who think of themselves as less than pretty - and who the hell can say what that even means - get to bash me because I look like I do.  So, if women (in their own words) who think they aren't pretty get to be funny and smart to make up for it, then what, am I just shit out of luck because of my looks?  I don't accept that.  I strive for way more.   And all you pretty girls out there that think you have it made, you lose.  You will have nothing one day soon if that's all you have. 

I've been Vegetarian since I was 18.  That means I've had 20 years of people giving me shit for MY OWN CHOICE.  Seriously, why does it make people so angry that I - NOT YOU -  choose to not eat flesh?  I cannot tell you how many people want to spar with me about this.  After 20 years, I still don't get it.  Again, I don't tell you how to eat, why don't you not worry about what I'm eating.  This is a stereotype for a reason, and there are a lot of militant Vegetarians and Vegans out there who will be dicks and never make a good impression.  I am not one of these people.  I love animals.  I cannot eat them because I love them so much.  Done, the end, finished.  You don't need to be so aggressive with me because I skipped the turkey and drink almond milk.  And never said one word about it, I might add.  People are afraid of what they don't know I guess, and I'm open to talking about it, but with all the aggression directed my way over the years, I'm wary.  But I will talk if you calmly ask me about it.

Ah yes.  Here we are.  Katy is sober and therefore, she will judge me for drinking too much.  NOT TRUE.  Again, if you hang out with me at all or read me, you know that I encourage drinking by people who can handle it.  My husband drinks.  My husband eats meat.  And he will be the first to tell you I have never once tried to alter either of these aspects of him.  If you drink, great!  Have some for me.  I can't do it.  Anything you feel about me being sober is about you.  It's not me giving you any kind of vibe about it.  Deal.  Also, I'm way funnier and sharper sober than I ever was drinking. So today, I have the best time sober. Which means WE have the best time when I'm sober.  You're welcome.  It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. 

Ok, first of all, I am a bright shade of blonde.  I play a dumb blonde.   I get to surprise people all the time with my depth and my brain.  Seriously, people are shocked.  It works to my advantage.  Now, I know I am ditsy and spazzy and tend to be a bit daft, but truly, hair color does not determine brain quality any more than wearing spectacles does.  That just means you have bad eyesight.  Thanks genes!  And I do wear glasses too.  So, suck it. 

Have we cleared all this up?  I am just another bozo on the bus, like all of you.  Let's not get all ugly with each other.  Life is hard enough.  Live and let live? Works for me. 


  1. I think you're probably one of the coolest people...ever. Seriously...EVER.

  2. I am glad you've cleared up these misconceptions. Although, I fear this won't do too much to change the dickwads' opinions.

    I especially found the vegetarian thing to really make people uncomfortable and caused so many awkward moments. Huh. I didn't feel awkward about it.

  3. Right on my friend! We are so much more than our genes or whatever category folks wanna use to define us. Loved this post.

  4. Love the way you deal with problem ownership! Stereotyping sucks. Could you add "not all single mothers on benefits are lazy scroungers" to your list please :o)

  5. Ditto what Maegan said. I love meat and beer but I love you too and I know you love me as well even though I love meat and beer (and wine and vodka - sorry.). Oh, and My Director is a blonde and she's the smartest person I know.

  6. Having gone vegan after a heart attack, I so get the aggression. What is that?? I've never told anyone they should do it too. And I am newly vegan--20years?? I might punch someone by then! I don't drink anymore either. I think you hit the nail on the head with people are afraid of what they don't know!

  7. I am newly vegan for health reasons. I get so much aggression from people about it. I think after 20 years of it, I might want to punch someone! I don't drink anymore either. I think you are right, people are afraid of what they view as different.

  8. Love this. So true. While I'm not blonde, a vegan or sober, I am absolutely stunning. Seriously, it's out of control how good looking I am. (Please read this with a sarcastic tone.) Of course this leads people to believe I'm boring or dumb. I'm neither. I'm fun, funny, a little crazy. I just happen to not be ugly.

  9. Obviously the person/people bitching about unfunny sober people have never been around sober-by-choice people. I, too, say "have one for me" to normal drinkers. I never wanted to be a "normal" drinker anyway. I wanted to be drunk. Now. With giddiness, dizziness, and extreme irresistableness (yes, I'm making up words to suit my purpose). Unfortunately it always progressed to sluttiness and I-hate-myself-ness.

    Here are some of the stereotypes I get to deal with:

    1. Fat people are lazy.
    Yes, I can be lazy, but it usually comes after a day of getting kids off to school, going to work, battling through stubborn kid homework, making supper, getting everything prepared for next day, laundry, and collapsing into bed for an hour of me-time before falling asleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, 5 days a week. <--Check out those rhyming skills. ;-)

    2. People on welfare are lazy bums screwing the taxpayers.
    I wish I didn't have to rely on the government for assistance, but I do and am very grateful it is there. Without state-subsidized health insurance, my children and I would have NO health insurance. I KNOW how lucky I am to qualify. Without the ins. I would have to go off my meds. That's not good. An unmedicated asthmatic with allergies who is prone to depression isn't a good thing to have roaming around, much less raising children.

    Part of my attempt to pay back society in return for my insurance is to not live like a drunken douchebag and commit crimes. That's the least I can do.

    3. Fat chicks are either really funny or total bitches.
    Ok, you got me on the funny part. Bitchiness usually must be provoked for some time. I'm actually quite nice. In fact, my older brother told me, "You're the only friendly chubby girl I've ever known." He means well. lol

    I WOULD like to ask chubby girls to stop SPREADING some stereotypes by wearing spandex or clothes that are 4 sizes to small. Just because you "always buy a size 8" doesn't mean you always SHOULD. I'm not saying you should shop at Tent & Awning, but there's gotta be a happy medium between that and "Muffin Tops & Butt Cracks-R-Us".

    Don't forget - I'm a chubby girl, so I have all the right in the world to make that request.

    With all of that being said, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!


  10. Holy Batshit... I think you nailed it!! Thanks for clearing that shit up cuz I know that some people need to hear it. My motto is if you haven't walked in my shoes.. and want to judge me.. go fuck off! I think you are very entertaining, and quite frankly I'm sure without a doubt you are so much better sober than drunk.. I can't imagine your spazism.. drunk! LMAO! Thx for sharing!!

  11. I've dated my sober for over a year now, and you're right - he is way fun as a sober, and never once has he gotten on me for my choices (smoking or drinking). Way to go for clearing up the misconceptions, although I never once thought you were boring or dumb :)

  12. You are amazing! That is all.

  13. Agree, agree, agree, agree! Pretty girls can be anything they want and hopefully not just pretty; same for blondes. As for funny drunks... I outgrew that many years ago. It was funny to see people stumbling around being idiots when I was 19; now it's just sad. I don't mind people drinking, and have a nightcap now and then, but don't force me to get wasted or tell me it's lame to not partake. You hit the nail on the head. People shouldn't project their own issues on the sober folk. As for the judgmental vegetarians, I've only met one and she tainted our whole group of friends with her holier-than-thou attitude. When I was veggie, I just tried to be the best example I could so if people took an interest in why I didn't eat meat, they would listen. People don't really listen to crazy people. You are so funny and wise. Love your stuff!

  14. Although I am not a blond (but a dark redhead), I get judged all the time for how I look. Being pretty is good when it comes to getting hired, it makes it harder for me to make friends. Most girls I encounter don't want to have anything to do with me. I understand. I'm glad I found your blog. I'm a new follower and subscriber. I look forward to your future posts!

  15. How sad that you had to even write this post. People can be such douchebags.

  16. Just so you know, having freckles makes me superior. *shrugs*

    It's my cross to bear. *snort~


  17. So on it. My SIL is vegan and my Bestie is Gluten free--and i am AMAZED at the amount of shit they get--or that *I* get for accomodating them when they come to visit. so wierd. No one's giving me shit about eating crap, i tells ya.

    And along with the pretty girl myth is the bib boobed myth. I've been double lettered as long as i can remember, and seriously--the myths about us--whores, easy, dumb, relies on boobs instead of brains--it's enough to make a girl stabby. STABBY.

    Keep up the good fight.

  18. I was with you till the veggie bit....being somebody who is an animal lover and meat eater the crap I get from veggies must be the same as what you get....so I guess it works both ways.....