Here's the deal, I want to be pregnant, we are trying to be pregnant and I know there are an awful lot of you out there who are as well. So every month when I get my period, I get a little sad. But not today. NO WAY.
I'm not discussing details of our situation, and know that you respect that. This is my view, my humorous way to deal with my situation, so don't get all angry or sad on me ok? No need. We will get there however and whenever we are supposed to.
Today, let's talk about how great it is to NOT BE PREGNANT.
- I get to wear skinny jeans with no bump.
- I get to do whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want to.
- If I weren't a raging alcoholic, I could drink as much as I wanted and not feel guilty. But I digress.
- I get to swear my head off with no repercussion.
- I get to teeter around on my heels and run and fall with no worry for whether I'm hurting another being inside me. If I get hurt, it's just me, and that's easier to deal with.
- I have a ton of me time. I keep hearing "enjoy it while you can." And well, I really do enjoy it.
- I've gotten to get and stay sober for a good long while before I bring a child into our family. A gift that a lot of people don't get. My child, HP willing, will never see mommy drunk.
- We get to be idiots at Disney World later this month and not worry about being careful or dragging a baby along.
- I get to spend quality fun time with my wonderful Dumpster Husband. Which, let's face it, when you've only been married for almost 3 years, is still pretty fucking great. He's the person I would pick above anyone else to spend time with. And that alone is way better than a lot of couples can say.
|My new favoritest picture of all time.|
Here's the list of things to keep in mind when speaking with me:
- Mentioning babies is good. I love babies! I don't get sad when baby talk comes up.
- Don't worry I'm sensitive when someone else is pregnant.
- You won't upset me by telling me YOU are pregnant. I'm super happy for you! Unless you are just an asshole and I wouldn't be happy about anything for you. But most, times, YAY, happy!
- I'm not being snarky and sarcastic and hiding how I really feel you guys. Sure this is a sucky position to be in, but in NO WAY is this a terrible situation. No one is dying. We are all good. This is not a sad situation.
- Whatever you are feeling about me feeling is YOUR FEELING. Let me decide for myself how I feel, ok? Most of the time it's pretty damn good and grateful.