|There they are! Dancing around in there like only Hall & Oates can!|
And I am. I feel great! After the hell that was In Vitro for me, this pregnancy is a piece of cake. And at 18 weeks along, I am right where I should be. The bumpsters are mango sized now according to the "What to Expect When You are Expecting" app that I have on my phone. They're all fruit and vegetable sizes, so that's a little weird but also good perspective, rather than, YOUR BABY is 5 INCHES. Give me a mango and yeah, I know what that shit looks like. And maybe want to eat it, which is only a tad disconcerting. I'm eating pretty well with some allowances for some stuff I crave, but nothing crazy. I'm trying to walk on a regular basis and just overall trying to be healthy. I don't believe being pregnant is an excuse to throw everything out the window and just eat crap. Nobody benefits from that, my babies or me. Or my husband who I want to be attracted to ALL THIS.
This is the time where panic and happiness and excitement collide. Just thinking about all the baby shit we will need is overwhelming to the point where I literally bat my arms around and say, "OK, I'll come back to that later...." The really fortunate thing is we have several friends who have twins and can help me with this process. The registering, the feelings the reality of what all of this is going to take. I've had maternity clothes given to me second hand and offers of all kinds of baby stuff and I couldn't be more grateful. Don't even get me started on how freaked out I get by baby showers and all the stuff. Social anxiety combined with people giving us shit, is overwhelming to say the least. So grateful, but so overwhelmed.
AND, What is going to happen when I go back to work?
*SCREECHING HALT NOISE*
Reel it all back in there, sister.
Gazillions of people have done this before with way less resources, money and love than we have. Millions will do it after us. What I really really really want to do right now is enjoy where we are. We have two babes that are developing and growing and dancing and getting ready to rock our worlds upon their arrival.
It is simultaneously the scariest and most exhilarating feeling I've ever known.
Nothing new or earth shattering as we are just grains of sand that are doing what so many have done before us, but dammit, this is new to me. New to us. And we are truly loving it. As surreal as it is, and I never thought we would be in this situation, the joy I feel when I see and hear my dear sweet Dumpster Husband talking to our babies makes me weepy with joy. WEEPY WITH JOY.
Now, back to my rapidly expanding ass.......
I was working in a bar when I was pregnant, and had yet to tell the folks there that I was knocked up. I read on my phone app that my beeb was about the size of a lime, which I thought was super adorable and amazing. Until I went to work and had to cut limes... Then I was a mess of tears, covered in lime juice, and holding a knife. The people at the bar thought I had lost my mind. More so than usual, that is.ReplyDelete
It is so easy to get overwhelmed by it all. You have a great attitude and perspective. Good job Mom!ReplyDelete
Sooo adorable and glowing. I really envy you! I loved being pregnant and only wish I had been older, wiser and more mature to really REALLY enjoy everything about it. You get to experience all these wonderful stages, and make all these great new memories. **sigh** its so incredible. Thank you for sharing it with us!ReplyDelete
You are adorable.ReplyDelete
nothing more beautiful than a glowing momma! <3ReplyDelete
http://babybump.alt12.com/community/groups - a friend of mine works for these folks and says the app is awesome. My "baby" is 20 so I cannot speak from experience (about the app). You look great - keep up the healthy lifestyle and positive attitude. :)ReplyDelete
My cousin is preggers with twins; we were at her house this past weekend planning her baby shower and she's feeling the same way..."I can't think about it because I get completely out of it". I think I would be too!!! I do enjoy watching you guys from the sidelines, though, and quietly sighing to myself and wishing I could do it again. :)ReplyDelete
You look absolutely fabulous and beaming with HcG! You've got an incredible smile too! Can't wait till January when you're holding Hall and Oates for the first time! You're smile will be TWICE as big ;o)ReplyDelete
YOU GO GIRL....your attitude, your smile....you are working this pregnancy like a pro and taking things as you should....deal with what you can handle and come back later to what you can't. Think I will be happier to know when the babies aren't Mango sized since I buy my mangos cut up and frozen and like you said, it's a bit disconcerting, but they will move up to things such as coconuts or cabbage sized and then I will be fine! HUGS!!!!ReplyDelete
Of course your ass has to expand - you're sitting for THREE now. Duh.ReplyDelete
;-) I love you and love your posts. I'm so happy you get to enjoy this pregnancy one exciting/terrifying moment at a time. I spent 38 of my 41 weeks with all-damn-day sickness and it totally sucked. Even though being pregnant sucked, I was so grateful to even BE pregnant since we didn't know if that could happen.
Licks and jazz hands for you today. Mwah!
This is awesome. Really enjoying watching your journey, and looking forward seeing things unfold for you. You're gonna do great, everything's gonna fall into place. :)ReplyDelete
Have I told you lately that I love you?? Trying to get pregnant was 7 years worth of tiring for me. I took months off but I always went back. I knew what I wanted. Being pregnant was a breeze! Enjoy it, keep doing what you're doing, because you're doing it great. Truth.ReplyDelete
Overwhelming ... during pregnancy, that's just the beginning ... wait until they pop out and the true scope of people's generosity comes to light. As hard as it seems to be able to do it, just accept it. Grace and love at its finest.
love you, love you, love you! Schmoopie.
Your rapidly expanding ass looks great and I'm sure you won't let it fall to pieces once Hall and Oates are born. I'm sure I'll be a blubbering mess when I get pregnant and the app starts comparing my babes to fruits I eat. Long as they're not watermelons. Love you and your posts!ReplyDelete
I've never been pregnant with twins but I have been prego 4x so I totally know what you're talking about. Good for you on staying healthy and not giving in to all the junk =) It will make it that much easier to get back to your pre prego self. As always, love the shoes you're rocking momma ;-)ReplyDelete
You are glowing and gorgeous! As with all other stuff, take one day at a time.ReplyDelete
Love the comment about your ass sitting for three! So true! And that's just temporary anyhoo.
Gosh darn it, your energy and grace and love and thankfulness are lessons for everyone. Thank you for that.
You look better 4 months preggers with twins than most people do SANS pregnant. That was a good latin reference there, huh?ReplyDelete
You won't stop worrying. Stupid, damn kids. They suck the worry and energy right out of you. But take any help, free stuff, party, gifts, WHATEVER. Take it!!
Yup from the time Hall and Oats are born you will begin to walk around with your heart outside your body. I don't know that I will ever again not worry! Kids are funny that way. You look FANTASTIC!!! Great attitude, good friends, a little freak out mode - you're right on track! Woot!ReplyDelete
When I was preggers, I was a nanny to seven children, 'cause I had decided to give my son up for adoption once he was born.... Had to... had no one, no job, no place to live, nobody to turn to..... ANYWAY.........ReplyDelete
So here I am, this nanny to these little people, and the mom of this brood asks me to choreograph a number for this Vegas Revue their church is putting on. Suuuuure, I'll do that. High kicks, twirls, bumps and grinds... ALL FOR THE CHURCH. And was high kicking til the day I gave birth.
Not to mention that the senior girl in high school wanted me to learn the Michael Jackson dance to "Beat It", so I could teach it to her and her friends, so they could do it for their talent show. Which I did. All day, every day, while she was at work. Rewind, get the steps, memorize, rewind, get the steps, memorize, ad nauseum.... literally. I get a little woozy just remembering it all.
Yeah, so you stay active, little owl baby mama... 'cause it's good for them there birds in there. And your ass. lol Shake what yo mama gave ya til ya push them owl babies out.
I don't recommend learning the dance to "Beat It", though... not 'cause it's outdated, but well, ok, 'cause it's outdated. I'd go for some Gaga nonsense. Gotta keep up with the times. xoxoxO!!
Mucho SeXAY in the dress and heels! Lordy woman you make twins look amazing! :) oh yeah, while everyone was telling you what to "expect when you're expecting".... I think I silently remembered the euphoria and feeling of awesomeness of the 20 week to 30 week stretch. (instead of the "wait till you can't see your feet shit") I never felt so good myself. Beautiful, expanding belly (and erm ass) and I never loved myself more. You know what? You are even better prepared for this than some who haven't been through the hell you've been through.... why? Because you're a motherfucking battle cat who has survived alcoholism. You're tougher than a marine on steroids and goddamnit you look way better doing it! Today I'm grateful you have the ability to feel overwhelmed, nervous, excited, scared shitless, elated and all those good emotions that are utterly human and not the hall marks of someone who eats a liter of vodka for breakfast. Today your post makes me wanna barf rainbows all over my desk and I love you for it! I needed a smile this morning. I heart you so fucking much right now!ReplyDelete
Just one look at your face is all it takes to know how happy you are, and what a great Mom you'll be! Talk about the 'glow of pregnancy'!! Just keep enjoying EVERY MINUTE of this experience, and you'll be fine! We all know you'll be the greatest Mom--so just settle into it--accept it! Cause it is going to be the ride of your life!! You'll never be the same, but you'll always be you; and the four of you will be the greatest happy family! I know this cause I see it in your eyes...so keep dancing, keep wearing high heels, keep playing mini-golf, and fully appreciate every moment of this time--this IS the start of the rest of your life, and it's gonna be fantastic!!ReplyDelete
And as far as gratitude for those folks giving you stuff for the babes--take it, use it, and then pass it along to someone else who needs it--that's the rule for moms! They want to get all the baby equipment out of their closets, so take it--you're doing them a big favor! Which you will return down the road...it all works the way it is supposed to! I am so loving being privy to all this--THANK YOU MOMMA!!
What ass! You are just about the cutest pregnant lady I have ever seen!!! And twins - awesome!!! Love the yellow dress!ReplyDelete
hi! can i just say i adore you? your so sweet. i found your blog through my older cousin, and i just love reading it. i'm only 19, so i guess, a bit younger then most of your readers on here, since most if them are talking about when they were pregnant, and that's a long long time away for me, but i love reading how awesome you are. i myself have depression, and have A LOT of anti-depressants i'm gonna have to take for a while, and i know it's different then what you've fought through, but reading what you've gone through, makes me feel like maybe getting over it, isn't as impossible as it feels like it is. so thank you. i also like reading about how you and your hubby are gonna have babies! that's so great!! so thank you, thank you , thank you for giving me something to read when it feels like my depression is driving me crazy and that i'll never escape it, because reading this, hearing what you've overcome, and how happy you are, makes me feel like i can do it too. Congrats on your Babies!!!!ReplyDelete
Oh Ashley. I love you girl!Delete
You are ROCKING that dress as a maternity. Mine's in the closet waiting for cooler weather. Bee-YOU-tee-FULL!ReplyDelete
I have that dress! I bought it because i was inspired by how you wear it so beautifully and now it reminds me of you every time i see it. You are a beautiful momma. i wish i had that glow when i was pregnant. Congratulations! ~FEYReplyDelete
My doctor told me that everything evens out - if you had a hard time conceiving the pregnancy and childbirth will be a piece of cake in comparison. For me it was true - though I'm sure the GRATITUDE and not taking a moment of it for granted help make that a reality. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the pregnancy! You look great, too. Just beautiful.ReplyDelete