|There they are! Dancing around in there like only Hall & Oates can!|
And I am. I feel great! After the hell that was In Vitro for me, this pregnancy is a piece of cake. And at 18 weeks along, I am right where I should be. The bumpsters are mango sized now according to the "What to Expect When You are Expecting" app that I have on my phone. They're all fruit and vegetable sizes, so that's a little weird but also good perspective, rather than, YOUR BABY is 5 INCHES. Give me a mango and yeah, I know what that shit looks like. And maybe want to eat it, which is only a tad disconcerting. I'm eating pretty well with some allowances for some stuff I crave, but nothing crazy. I'm trying to walk on a regular basis and just overall trying to be healthy. I don't believe being pregnant is an excuse to throw everything out the window and just eat crap. Nobody benefits from that, my babies or me. Or my husband who I want to be attracted to ALL THIS.
This is the time where panic and happiness and excitement collide. Just thinking about all the baby shit we will need is overwhelming to the point where I literally bat my arms around and say, "OK, I'll come back to that later...." The really fortunate thing is we have several friends who have twins and can help me with this process. The registering, the feelings the reality of what all of this is going to take. I've had maternity clothes given to me second hand and offers of all kinds of baby stuff and I couldn't be more grateful. Don't even get me started on how freaked out I get by baby showers and all the stuff. Social anxiety combined with people giving us shit, is overwhelming to say the least. So grateful, but so overwhelmed.
AND, What is going to happen when I go back to work?
*SCREECHING HALT NOISE*
Reel it all back in there, sister.
Gazillions of people have done this before with way less resources, money and love than we have. Millions will do it after us. What I really really really want to do right now is enjoy where we are. We have two babes that are developing and growing and dancing and getting ready to rock our worlds upon their arrival.
It is simultaneously the scariest and most exhilarating feeling I've ever known.
Nothing new or earth shattering as we are just grains of sand that are doing what so many have done before us, but dammit, this is new to me. New to us. And we are truly loving it. As surreal as it is, and I never thought we would be in this situation, the joy I feel when I see and hear my dear sweet Dumpster Husband talking to our babies makes me weepy with joy. WEEPY WITH JOY.
Now, back to my rapidly expanding ass.......