Tuesday, October 23, 2012

How Lovely to be a Woman

I've got these tights pulled all the way up to my bewbies.  I've got them stretched to their very breaking point.  AND THEY LIKE IT.  They are keeping Hall & Oates tucked in and affording me the luxury of wearing boots and dresses every damn day.  I'm so grateful I am not super hugely preggo in the thick of a Chicago horrible summer.  Fall and Winter are my lifeblood.

27 weeks and 4 days!  All is well.  All is well.

All that said, there's some weird shit going on.  I keep saying, because I am the first and only woman to ever be pregnant, this will all be quite shocking to most of you mama's out there, as I'm sure you never experienced any of this nonsense yourself.  In fact, I wrote a post a while ago about how much I loved NOT BEING PREGNANT and I meant it.  

BUT here we are and Hall & Oates are at 27 weeks along and I keep hearing, are you ready?  OMG ARE YOU READY? to which I answer, "NO WAY.  How could I possibly be ready for all this?"  Because how can you be?  I'm ready for the awesome and I'm ready for the non-sleep crazies, but REALLY, how could we possibly be ready?  We are just doing the best we can to be realistic.  And enjoying every second of it. 

I keep saying, it's all new to me, and there are some things I've noticed, so here we go!

  1. We are healthy.  All three of us.  Doing perfectly well, everyone passing every hurdle and test with flying colors.  Except for the mama passing out on the table every time we have an ultra sound.  But that's all fine too.
  2. BEWBIES.  My breasteses are big.  They are not hurting like they were during in vitro though, which was unbearable.  This is fine.
  3. My belly is HUGE.  And getting bigger EVERY SINGLE DAY.  And I am in love with it.  I'm in love with how I walk up to my dear sweet dumpster husband and he kisses it or just talks to our babies and all  of it.  I just love how huge I am and I've said before, when you've sucked in your gut since you were about 8 years old, at 39 years old to let it out is HUGELY RELIEVING and awesome.  Oh, I bump into everything now, but that's just fine.   I stare at it in the mirror.  I stare at it in the shower.  As I can't really see past it any more, it's really something. 
  4. My hair is KICK ASS!  I've never had good hair.  I have good hair while pregnant!
  5. There's some burping.  I'm not going to lie.
  6. I cut my nails to within bleeding distance, but I do have to do it all the time, so I guess they're growing right? I just keep them short as can be as I like them like that.
  7. The sleep thing is tough.  These spazz dancers are waking me up and keeping me awake a lot of nights.  I know, I know, it's just prep for when they arrive, so it's all good.
  8. My skin is KICK ASS!
  9. Everything is terrifying! 
  10. Everything is exciting and new!
  11. I've never had heartburn.
  12. I've never had hemorrhoids.
  13. YET.
  14. People look at me really weirdly sometimes and I get a chance to focus them onto my face and smile. 
  15. My balance is still KICK ASS!  From 10 years of figure skating?  From wearing heels forever and ever amen?  Whatever it is, I'll take it as long as it lasts.
  16. People really are kind and want to hear all about what is going on.  I've enjoyed chatting with folks who never talked to me before they really had something to relate to with me.  Let's talk about babies!  Or being Pregnant!
  17. People really want to take my mind off being pregnant and all this.  I enjoy being with friends who couldn't really give a rats ass that I'm pregnant and just ignore it and we just go on as we always have.  I really truly appreciate that, as I am a person too you know! 
  18. Sobriety is still hard. 
  19. Not smoking is still REALLY hard.
  20. All in all, In Vitro was terrible for me and kicked my ass.  The pregnancy part is easy compared to all of that.  And I'm so damn grateful to BE pregnant that I really have NOTHING to complain about.
20 things off the top of my fantastically haired head that really are all FANTASTIC.

I know I'm not the first and I'm certainly not the last woman to be pregnant.  But when it's all new to you, you want to share it all, right?  There you have it.  It's really a gratitude list. 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS NUMBER ONE.  over and over and over.  Number 1. 


  1. Replies
    1. I concur. Hopefully the third trimester won't get icky. Second kid was icky. But Icky third trimesters mean you are even happier when the kids come out.

      Still, so happy for you!


  2. I never felt healthier than I did going into my 3rd trimester - once I was mostly done with the thrice daily puking, that is. Glad you are all well.

    Looking forward to future posts of fat, happy babies!!

  3. Lordy, my lil monster is 11 years old and I can STILL bore people with my pregnant stories!! I love pregnant stories!

    By the way, my cousin just had her twins on the 18th. Ryann and Rylee (boys)weighed in at 6lbs 9oz and 5lbs 13oz. omg...sweeeeeeet babies!! Agree completely with you: NUMBER 1. Definitely Number 1. :)

  4. Keep it up, girl. Keep doing what you do. You are rocking every single bit of it. It's always a new experience, and you can share it if you want. I. Love. You.

    Oh, and you look amazing...as always.

  5. I continue to be thrilled for you. LOVE hearing all the cool things about pregnancy from someone going through it for the first time. I think *sometimes* women lose sight of what a fucking miracle it all is and that even if a pregnancy sucks (which I'm super happy yours does not suck), God willing, we end up with the precious gift of a baby! And in your case, two. :-)

  6. And just wait till they get here. As you saw we just had baby #3 on friday but still this shit fascinates me! How something so little and helpless can just make your whole world seem so relevant now (as if it wasn't before). I am so happy and excited for you because I know those babehs are going to be so loved and going through the hell of in vitro will make you cherish them even more. Not to mention I am quite sure they will be entirely too stylish for their own good haha! So you just keep rockin and rollin and we will be right here with you. Can't wait to see them either as I'm sure they are going to be the cutest babies ever borned (with the exception of mine of course haha!).

  7. You're not the first ever to be pregnant, but you *are* the first *you* to be pregnant ( if that makes any sense)...no one has faced your exact journey, so no one can know the exact joy that is within your heart over having these babes (although we can see some of it in the beauty of your smile & the Awesomeness of your words). Best of love, health & laughter to you, Hall & Oates & daddy too!

  8. At 7 months pregnant with my first, I told my husband one morning "I can't believe it. Everyone says you get pregnant and get stretch marks and hemorrhoids. I haven't gotten the first one of either!". The next morning, I woke up to my first stretch mark. Later that night, I made a frantic call to my OB telling her that I had a prolapsed umbilical cord..............it was hemorrhoids. *facepalm*

  9. I love soaking up every second and every little morsel you share with us. I was SOOOOOO sick when I was pregnant that I enjoy you NOT being sick. :-)

    <3 to you and the dumpster family!

  10. I just adore you! I am so happy for you and love to read about all these new experiences you are having. It reminds me of my first pregnancy and the miracle of it and wonder of my ever changing body. Thanks for sharing this with us. You have made me smile!!!

  11. I love reading about all the things you are feeling/thinking/experiencing.... I have 1 girl, 9yrs old and I LOVED being preggers! I can't have anymore, health issues, but I always said if I could I would be a surrogate. All the perks like glowing skin, growing nails, hair that actually works with you (not against you!) and to feel that little life moving inside you...its like Whoa! THE most amazing thing. All the best to the 4 of you. <3

  12. Your joy and happiness is wonderful to read! So excited for you, your hubby, and the babies!

  13. I love your blog and love your posts! I also love that you are a recovering drunk! That means you have friends that are also sober or trying like hell to become, which in turn means you still have friends that want to hang out with your non-drinking big belly! I felt so isolated when I was knocked up....everyone just wanted to go out to the bars!!!

    Before I got pregnant with MY miracle baby (told for 10 years without fertility treatment a baby wouldn't happen) I was a skip-a-step-mom; I called him my practice baby LOL when I miraculously got pregnant I kinda thought I was ready or possibly prepared....the KABLAM....this baby that I grew was here and I was responsibly for molding her into a human begin that could walk into the world one day on her own.....Ready?!?!?! I think not! Scared shitless was more like it. But just like you do and will, I took it one day at a time. I found joy in everyday, even when I just wanted to cry. I thanked god for answering my prays and giving me the child I wanted SO bad!! I hate when people ask a pregnant woman if she's ready, how is anyone ever ready for the unknown? They're not. They take it one day at a time :) P.S. be prepared for the next repetitive question to be, "so do you want more babies?" Yes, this dumb question will begin even before you have these babies! Absurd, I agree, but if you haven't been asked yet, its coming! You look great, your posts are fantastic, and I love your appreciation for life, motherhood, and sobriety!!! Keep it up Momma!!!

    Dani W.

  14. With my last one, I worked up until the day before she was born. My CNA said to me, "you gonna have that baby any day now" and I was like, uh-huh. She was right! Next day I'm at Walmart getting markers to work on her baby book when it hit me. LOL. I wouldn't leave until I had my markers!!

  15. Gawd,woman...
    I hate it when you make my eyes leak.
    You look amazing and I have to wager that the glowy thing you've got going on is some sort of magical blessing of all that extra awesomeness you've got sprouting inside.

  16. I Loved this blog. You are radiating happiness and gratitude. You are amazing and pregnant and you are actually enjoying every second of it. I love how you Recognize the beauty in everything. I just love and adore you. Conrats on this wonderful experience...may all the rest of your weeks go just as well! Xo

  17. I Loved this blog. You are radiating happiness and gratitude. You are amazing and pregnant and you are actually enjoying every second of it. I love how you Recognize the beauty in everything. I just love and adore you. Conrats on this wonderful experience...may all the rest of your weeks go just as well! Xo

  18. Crying. :) I'm so thrilled for you. I still get a little jealous for me, not gonna lie. I love watching this process on someone who gets how hard it is to be on my side of the process. If I was closer, I'd do your maternity and newbie pics. Heck, if you want me to come over, I will....

  19. So ridiculously happy for you!! When I was hugely pregnant with TB, the only way I could sleep was with my belly shoved into his back. One morning, I woke up all well-rested to poor TWH looking all haggard and he looked at me in utter wonderment and asked "HOW can you sleep with all the wriggling around that kid does in there??" My poor hubby!!

  20. Keep the updates coming. Living vicariously through your amazing journey. My amazing babes are adopted, so I did not get to experience pregnancy. We adopted two children born addicted through Dcf, so we have had a wild ride, but I wouldn't change motherhood for anything. Love ya, girl!

  21. My hair is awesome anyway (not to rub it in) but it was more awesome pregnant! Loved it! A major benifit of pregnancy!

  22. You are so inspiring and happy and all that jazz! Reading this made me want awesome hair and nails and little babies! Reading your "NOT BEING PREGNANT" also reminded me why I don't have all that - just yet ;)

  23. Talk it out girl, talk it out!! It's normal to wanna talk about it. You rock pregnancy like a boss!!
    Oh, my nails started growing like crazy madd alien nails (if alien nails grow really fast) as soon as I was preggo with number one and HAVE. NOT. STOPPED!! She is 6 and a half. I like mine short too, I cut them once a week! GAWD!
    Also? BEWBIES - LOLLLL!!!!! Hilarious!! I choked!!

  24. LOVE this list!!! And yes, #1 is most important! But there is nothing like a full panel maternity pair of tights or pants. Ahhhhhh, that's one thing i miss ;)

  25. I just found you and I love you (is that too forward?). I have two surviving triplets, a boy and a girl born through IVF, and having multiples has been the most amazing experience ever, you will love it, even without sleep.

  26. Awesome list! Just discovered your blog. You are HILARIOUS! Congrats on your pregnancy. I totally know what you mean about not being ready. My daughter is 13 months old and I'm STILL not ready. As I type this, I'm listening to her have some kind of crazy party in her crib...to celebrate nap time I guess? I think she missed the point.

  27. I'm twenty weeks along and just stumbled on to your blog and love it. By now I'm used to weirdos rubbing my belly like a genie is going to come out but what what irks me is that people are constantly asking me if I'm ready. I look at them like they're nuts and proceed to tell them that I'm effing terrified (in more colorful language of course). Here's a link to my blog and my pregnancy list from last month. We have alot in common. http://www.blogher.com/what-they-dont-tell-you-about-being-pregnant

  28. I am so happy for you! And even though almost every woman goes through pregnancy and childbirth a) it is still AH-MAH-ZAING to go through it yourself and b)every experience is so different and fascinating.