|Sally Boy with Grandmama. T R O U B L E.|
We have loads of fun in the Dumpster household, mainly because my dear sweet Dumpster Husband (DH) is so damn funny. And this is all years before any munchkins come along, can you EVEN IMAGINE?
We do voices you see. Which is not uncommon. We do voices and personalities for our kitties of course, but the Grandmama thing is just a bit over the line of awesome. And then of course we are diving into voices for the wee babes now too. I can't tell you who does what voice exactly because we both do them all. You enter our apartment and it just happens. Sometimes it happens when we aren't even at home, but we are just talking for all of them. Sometimes people get caught up in the nonsense and wind up talking back with them. Don't blame us, it just happens. If you've been in our place and participated in this nonsense, you know I'm talking about YOU. And I love you for it. AND a bunch of you here and on the Facebook page have participated in these shenanigans, SO DON'T YOU JUDGE ME. You love it.
Between Eliza Jane Doolittle, Sally Boy Kitty and Grandmama, we have a full house of lunatics. My sister in law lovingly tells us, wide eyed and open mouthed, that our kids are going to be the WEIRDEST. And then we laugh and laugh because we all know it's true. In the most wonderful way.
Grandmama is of course, more brutal than ever in that I'm doubly knocked up and not even naturally as the good lord would want it but by the DEVIL SCIENCE and hope and love! Not by accident like it used to be in her day, by force even, but I ACTUALLY WANTED TO GET PREGNANT like a harlot or a jezebel or a damn hussy. LEGS IN STIRRUPS! Medical devices! The word INSERT was used repeatedly! HEAVING BOSOMS EVERYWHERE! Grandmama is horrified. So, she stays locked in the jewelry box lately until she can open her mind a bit more and be more accepting, which we all know isn't going to happen. I hear Sally Boy and she still do have their standing tea parties but he is really the only one who dresses up these days, and now he's really dressing up in baby clothes since those are just sitting around the bedroom WAITING TO BE WORN for gods sake.
And now with me being doubly pregnant and TWO babies (Hall & Oates) eating my brain power - which I'm pretty sure uses up about 84% of my meager powers to begin with, things are really fun.
Example from this morning as we're running out the door to catch the train:Are you getting the picture? Eliza is on Team DH, even though I rescued her 16 years ago and DH only met her about 5 years ago THEY ARE IN LUUUURRRRVE. Sayee is USUALLY on Team Katy, but it really could go either way as he's a pretty easy little guy to get along with, but also he's not that bright.
*we have street cleaning in Chicago, and since we all park on the streets, they put up signs as to which day you have to be NOT PARKED on that side of the street so the sweepers can come through, Today our car is fine, but tomorrow, we have to have the car moved to the other side than it's on now and if you do it late tonight it will be a bitch to find a spot* Got all that?
DH: "It's gonna suck that we get home late and I will have to scramble to move the car."
Katy: "Can you do it now?"
DH: *silence for a moment* "Well, no, because we have to have it off this side for today's street cleaning."
Eliza: "Why did you marry such a dumb ass, sir? I've never heard such nonsense. You're better than that, sir."
Katy: "Thanks for your support, Eliza. I appreciate that coming from the kitty I rescued."
Sally Boy *yelling from the other room*: "Why don't you just move the car now?"
Katy: "That's my boy. Thanks Sayee."
We have a box in our place right now, like a delivery box from eBay or something that Sally Boy runs in and runs around in circles like a fookin' idiot and then walks out of all calm and cool like nothing happened. DH named this box Idiot City. Sally is a the Mayor of Idiot City. He will soon have to run for re-election. Would you vote for Sally?
In closing I will tell you that we have an Infant CPR class to attend tonight. I'm pretty sure we will either get thrown out and banished from babydom forever, and we may be asked to hand our babies over upon delivery. OR we will rock that shit. If there is a doll involved, there WILL be trouble. It's the doing it together and having fun doing it that I cherish the most. All of it. The terrifying and the hysterical. The terrifyingly hysterical? Anyway, the partner in life and appreciating that you've found who you are supposed to be doing life with is truly something I never thought I would have. It all goes back to hope and gratitude and fun. Always.
Love this. And you. XoXoReplyDelete
Don't even get me started on voices. Good times. I wanna come over sometime. If you'll have me. I should say "us" because Christopher will surely be with me. We can come over and just do voices instead of having a real conversation. It will be magical.ReplyDelete
#1. I would most definitely vote for Sayeee. He's a much better option than some of our other choices. :)ReplyDelete
#2. Can you imagine how appalled Grandmama would be if she hung around the Science Babies that are Hall and Oates? Fabulous. She should come out and play soon. The babies can tell her how it is ;)
#3. FOOKING (as you put it) fabulous that you have the DH and that you are both such a great fit.
#4. I hope there are pictures or even better - video from class. There will be a doll. I wish I could see that class :)
Ahhh to be a fly on the wall in that class tonight! HA HA! I cannot wait to hear about the shenanigans!ReplyDelete
Laughing my arse off!!! (had to spell it out and use arse after seeing you use fooking) I absolutely love readying your posts. Great way to enjoy my me time at home while kiddos are at school as I sit here 6ms preggo not able to do much of anything. A good belly laugh always does me good, even if I get kicked for it. Lol! I was gonna say something but I honestly totally forgot what it was...... LMFAO! Mush brain!!! If I remember I'll come back and let you know. That's a big IF. For now I'll just say thanks for helping me start my day off in a great way!!!ReplyDelete
There will be a doll! A creepy, fleshy rubber doll with an open airway and a pumpable chest. PLEASE take pics and post the CPR shenanigans!!ReplyDelete
There will be a dirty, creepy fleshy rubber doll with some working parts at CPR class. Take pics and post the shenanigans, please! Have fun and don't worry. It's easy.ReplyDelete
I love that you guys have so much fun! The voice thing- yeah- we do that here too... The Mister was reading with The Boy last night and Teenzilla (who was supposed to be doing her own homework) was dying laughing at the voice the hubs gave the female character.. it is a regular occurrence in my house- so I get it and I LOVE IT!ReplyDelete
Wait, Granmama isn't real???ReplyDelete
Y'ALL DO VOICES TOO???? I feel so much less weird now!ReplyDelete
And, I repeat my comment from your facebook page yesterday...you crack me up!! :) I think the key to life is all about amusing ourselves and being happy - seems like you've got it figured out!ReplyDelete