|I'm a bit much for folks. I'm like a dog. I get very very excited to see you. |
|the comic that inspired this post. |
I would take being awkward over not giving a shit any day. But the problem really comes when I encounter another similarly awkward person. We try to out-awkward each other. Not on purpose, mind you, but it just happens naturally. And when you witness an awkward stand off, it is about the most painful interaction you will ever see or hear. There is much sighing and heaving and trying to fill the dead air with something, GOD, anything. And it usually ends with someone saying, ".....so, yeah....." or something of the like because we can't seem to finish a sentence and just leave it at that. Or, as I have done many times after filling a shopping cart full of stuff I can't make a decision on, I will just leave it and flee the scene.
Thank flying spaghetti monster for my job and AA and my family and real life friends and having to talk to people or else I would never get out from behind my computer. I would be content to just form these relationships that can be thought out and planned, so much easier for a person who suffers from awkwardness. I do much better from behind this wall, but the fear and awkwardness must be conquered! Forcing myself to get out and talk to people *shudder*, is about the scariest thing for me to do. And yet, I do it. One day at a time, just like every other fucking thing.
WATCH THIS! This is how I imagine I look pretty much all of the time in life. Just this awkward weirdo pee pee move at all time.
Link to Craig Ferguson Talking about Sex Education in Scotland
I know, I know.
And then there's the dancing, which doesn't happen very often and usually not when others are dancing, but just me by myself, looks almost identical to this:
I know, it's cliche and used a lot, but anyone who knows me would be hard pressed to disagree.
In closing, next time I come traipsing over and tackle you with licks and panting and tail wagging because of how much I adore you, don't be afraid, it's simply me being enthusiastic about you. Or if I just act painfully shy, and kind of ignore you? It's because I don't really like you. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because I like you that much more.
Just give me a pat on the head and a kind word, and I will move along. I will do my best not to drool on you.
|Jingle. at Best Friends DogTown. |
Awesome. I love it, and I can relate. I can get this way, but I would not characterize myself like this all the time. A doctor once said that I "seemed manic" and I told her that she was the first person who didn't wear a diaper that I had seen besides my husband in 6 weeks.ReplyDelete
Oooooh girl! Time to go back to work!Delete
Great post! It's a damn miracle anyone talks to me in real life. I'm such a buffoon.ReplyDelete
p.s. Thanks for adding my blog to your frequently read links!
I think we were separated at birth.ReplyDelete
This is why I like you. Social awkwardness in someone is necessary in order for me to like them. And I can't stop looking at beautiful, beautiful Jingle.ReplyDelete
I actually somehow managed to miss this one the first time around.ReplyDelete
It makes me like you even more. Seriously. I have a hard time believing that someone as lovely and fabulously dressed as you could be awkward.
I am awkward and it shows.
sweetest hearts. It's all an act. I promise you. we could have an awkward off. xoReplyDelete
"I either don't do anything and act really painfully shy, or even worse, I start dry humping your leg with my enthusiasm, both are awkward."ReplyDelete
^first THAT, and then the elaine dancing... omg.. we must be related somehow!! xoxo
loved this one!!
I'm the same way. When I'm at a party or family gathering and there are a lot of people I don't know (or see often) or just too many people I tend to go off to another room and play guitar by myself. I don't feel comfortable in front of folks unless there is a guitar in my hands. Mostly because it keeps people from talking to me or asking me stupid questions...most people, that is. Some really dense individuals will insist on trying to carry on a conversation mid song. Like I'm supposed to stop playing and singing to talk with them. If I wanted to hang out and talk, I'd be in the other room with them seeking out conversation. Every once in a great while I'll find a kindred spirit that's capable of intelligently discussing politics, history, art, music, philosophy, psychology, etc. and it's truly great, but mostly it's slack-jawed yokels, suburban grist and/or people who think they "get you" because they picked up a guitar once in high school so they could get laid.ReplyDelete
i know how you feel... we have a lot in common and may even take a few of the same drugs... i thank my higher power every day for pharmaceuticals, or i'd never leave my house and make an ass out of myself when i did... after a few years of friendship with bill w, it's gotten easier, but if it weren't for others, like you, and your honesty, i wouldn't have the courage to say hello much less carry on a conversation with anyone other than myself... thank you and be blessed...ReplyDelete
I wouldn't want you to be any other way ! <3ReplyDelete
Stay just the way you are ! You crack me up !!!
Love it and accept you for your awkward wacky self. Being diagnosed as an adult with Asperger's was a god send....the inappropriateness my whole life was answered and gave me my Ah Ha moment. Being brought up in a family where I was to be seen and not heard was painful. I had to be heard, dammit! As an adult, I've embraced my lack of filter and use it daily. I told someone to suck my dick after knowing them a few minutes through my husband. Sure, I get stares, but no one ever has to wonder what I'm thinking...because you already fucking know before you even knew you wanted to.ReplyDelete
It is now obvious to me that we have met at some point and you have based the 'awkward meets awkward' section on that meeting. Fabulous stuff girl, keep it coming!ReplyDelete
Yeah this I think is why I drank and used dry goods for so long, to feel normal in my own skin. After reading the comments it is clear that even those not associated with Bill W suffer from the same thing, only they channel it in other directions. Moral of the story, don't judge anyone until you walk in their shoes. Thanks for sharing!ReplyDelete
love it...we could be besties for sure i am wildly inappropriate and in your face, especially if I have an audience....SHOWTIMEReplyDelete
Great post! Couldn't have said it better.... or tried to..lol... glad to see I'm not alone. Always seems to stick my foot in my mouth when i get brave enough to pretend to know how to be social... damn I miss the drinking and the drugs... they were so helpful hahaha...ReplyDelete
OMG... I'm not alone. I've always questioned myself and I don't need to. It's ok to be honest and say what you are thinking. It's going to be a great day.....:)ReplyDelete
Oh K..... I can't tell you how much this means to me.... "this" being the openness, the vulnerability, the insight into self and defects of character.
Same Same. Thanks for letting me know and feel OK that I'm not alone.
Okay...SO FUNNY and if it weren't for the fact that you are a gorgeous blonde, I would think that we were separated at birth! Thanks for the laughs!ReplyDelete
I can relate in so many ways, I would skip parties and dances when I was younger if I only knew a couple people, I hated having to talk to people I did not know, I would start talking so fast noone could understand a word I was saying, not even me hahaReplyDelete
You are adorable.ReplyDelete
Uhm, this is awkward, but....JUST KIDDING!! Awkward is the new cool. Let me introduce myself, My husband calls me Spaz. We'd make quite a pair.ReplyDelete
A few years ago, my then 4 year old was chatting me up about friends, while shopping at WalMart. We had just moved to the town we were living in, so I really didn't have any friends. He decided to fix that for me. He pulled up his cowboy boots, sorted out his hawaiian grandpa shirt and then approached another Mom in the kids' department. And without hesitation he told her "My Mom needs a new friend, can you be her friend?". Im of course beet red, and my other kids are laughing at me. Moops marched back to me and look me square in the eye and said "see Mom, its not hard". To this day, he can make a friend out of a rock, and all is great. I on the other hand, have resolved to convincing The Hubs that I need a black pomeranian with a spike collar named Atilla.ReplyDelete
I am the same way. I'll skip any and all small talk and begin sussing out someone's personal history almost immediately!! Once that's all over, I'll just look at my shoes, or passing people because I so suck at small talk. It's ridiculous but I can't figure out how to change it. I just muddle along doing the best I can.ReplyDelete
I have somehow found my way to balance. Cuz I'm totally that person! But I've gotten the smile & nod thing down to an artform & people think I'm having a conversation with them! I think that's been my blessing of balance. Because I can open up & totally scare people with overbearing awesomeness (that's what I choose to call it) or with hiding in a corner & feeling like a creepy stalker person.ReplyDelete
It's the above as to why I totally get you & love you. I would love to meet you in person one day & then we can have epic awkwardness that would be so entertaining, people would need to record it & pay us (finally) for entertaining reality! You are awsomesauce (or awkwardsauce which is so fabulous either way)!
I can see that I have come to the right place!ReplyDelete
I'm new to your page...I thiink I know...sent me to say hi. I have never read so many funny, and intelligent comments from a single page before. My nephew has Asperger's, so, I get the social awkwardness that a lot of you people have (not sayin' everyone is Aspberger related), but, I didn't know that you all share a lot of the same traits as my nephew. Incredibly funny, smart as dickens (I mean way smart), and, brave. Alls I can say from watching my nephew struggle over the years is, the earlier someone recognizes the difference between being shy, and being socially unable to communicate, in a child, the more progress they make before adulthood. My hats off to all you funny ass people. I love you all....whether you're dry humping my leg, or trying desperately to answer my question without falling through the floor....love ya all!!ReplyDelete
There are many good blogs out there about aspergers. This is just a blog about me being awkward. Very different things.ReplyDelete
You are describing exactly how i feel...every single thing u said i could relate to and laugh at of course...wow im not alone!!ReplyDelete